The Naked Mole Rap lyrics - Dan Bull

Oi you're about to learn about

The fucking naked mole rat

Fuck all the other animals

They're old hat

I'm bringing solid gold facts

And I'm not gonna hold back

It's a whole new genre

I'ma call it naked mole rap

Check it one two, check it

One two, check it

They're not rats or moles

They're not rats or moles

But they're definitely nekkid

I know they look scarily like 'em

But they're not dicks

Dicks don't move their teeth

Independently like chopsticks

Looks can be deceiving

'Cause they're anything but soft

If they were then they probably

Wouldn't be feeding their tots shit

Or sleeping in a moshpit

Like narcoleptic rock chicks

Blinder than a bat

But they don't even need their optics

'Cause they can smell a rat

Like he just lit a joss stick

Live long in tip top condition

Hear the clock tick

You're jealous of these hairless fellas

So follow this top tip

You mess with them and it'll hurt

Like you fell on your coccyx

Unlike the puny human brain

These dudes are just immune to pain

Run straight into the fray

Like you'd do in a computer game

Who's afraid of rufous snakes

That move to break into the place

When you can take a tooth into the face

And be like, "Who's this wasteman,

Ruining the mood in our communal space?"

Like Luda says, move bitch

Get out my fooking way

Their food is basically

Just super great big new potatoes

Saying I can't communicate

How beautiful this tuber tastes

I never want to brush either tooth

Don't need a tube of paste

Plus they run the red light district

Check the zoo displays

So best watch your step in the neighborhood

Of heterocephalus glaber cuz

Or you'll be made to change your name

To a new one like Bethany Davis does

Beware 'cause they're braying for blood

And they're ready to cripple a crip

It's as if you were Dre and they're Suge

What? you thought this was,

A hereditary monarchy?

Nah, the queen hustled hard

And took over the colony

Survival of the fittest

This is what she's good at

Rising up the ranks

By fucking up the other hood rats

These OGs roll deep

Up to three hundred soldiers

Each keep to their role

In the mole fleet

But this isn't Sparta

This is modern day Somalia

So if there's pirates hearing this shit

You aren't so hard are you?

They live in massive burrows

As big as actual boroughs

They're sabre-toothed sausages

That's David fricking Attenborough

These crafty buggers

Are the only mammal packing blood

That's cold so they're literally

Cold blood bastards, that's another fact

They're as good at back up

As running forward

From the sound of it

They run the underground

That's blooming baller

Let me tell you something awful

Old age is coming for you

And it's unavoidable for us

But your boys are immortal

Oxygen's an option

They can take it or leave it

They safely respirate

In places apes couldn't breathe in

And have you ever seen

A naked mole rat getting cancer?

No you haven't so don't try

To give a different answer

Have you ever had the thought

How the name "naked mole rats"

Sounds like a Kevin Smith parody

With an adult cast

Mother nature baked these babies

Up on full blast

And any lame attempt to be greater

Than them'll fall flat

So fucking fall back fool

Before you feel the full wrath

Of the motherfucking

Buck naked mole rats

This is a rap

About the naked mole rat

In case you didn't know already

And so I guess that

I just have to name it

The naked mole rap

It's a pun

This is a rap

About the naked mole rat

That's fairly obvious

And so I guess that

I just have to name it

The naked mole rap

The naked mole rap

The Porn Minister lyrics - Dan Bull

Dear David Cameron

You want us to admit if porn's something we're interested in? (what)

I've never heard a more intrusive line of questioning (yeah)

There's a lot of chaps with no-one to put their erection in

You've put the onus on their boners to come and confess the thing (ha) Despite it's popularity the silence'll be deafening

Censorship is not the method to mop up the mess we're in (ha)

Next you'll be suggesting police kettling

Any people sending text messages with three Xs in

Will I still be free to see The Exorcist?

'Cause there's a crucifix in that and a tween having sex with it

If not, what's the difference between an adult actress

And a thespian in a sexually packed script? (tell me)

You plan to block pages with a blacklist

So if I say "rape" does it mean I can't rap this?

In terms of sexual deviance the Tories have had practice

Dave, I've seen the stains on your Brasenose mattress

And it's ironic you're proposing a porn ban 'cause

You're considered one of Britain's biggest wankers

(Ah)

Human rights are universal. Cultural differences are not an excuse to water down, human rights, nor can the exploitation of digital networks by criminals or terrorists be a justification for states to censor their citizens

But think of the children, think of the children

A free and open Internet's probably gonna kill them

Think of the children, think of the children

A free and open Internet's probably gonna kill them

Mate, rape fantasies are a common obsession (yeah)

But actually being a rapist is not a logical progression (yeah)

To beat abuse, you should use a new weapon

Like battling the stigma for people when confessing

That they've been molested or beaten senseless

The way that they're treated by police is horrendous

Some of us understand, Louise Mensch does

The consensus is your dumb plan's defenceless (uh)

Tories are all about family responsibility (ha)

So your proposal seems silly to me (ha)

Serious criminals don't use Bing, they use P2P and darknet webrings

(Think) China's blacklist accuracy couldn't be lower

It's like trying to trim your fro with a mower (ow)

When has censorship ever fixed a problem?

"Yeah, it's not like North Koreas got them" (no)

But if that's the kind of thing for which your clamouring

Do you mind if I refer to you as Kim Jong Cameron?

Think of the children, think of the children

A free and open Internet's probably gonna kill them (no)

Think of the children, think of the children

A free and open Internet's probably gonna kill them

(Ugh ugh responsibility)

If you can't say "fuck", you can't say

"Fuck David Cameron with a piece of slightly undercooked broccoli"

The Worst Fall Guys Player In The World (TimTheTatman Rap Roast) lyrics - Dan Bull

(AKA "TimTheTatman Is Bad at Fall Guys")

This is the story of the World's Worst Fall Guy

Gather round! Today's a momentous occasion

A tale of overcoming incompetence with determination

Showing if you lack skill, just compensate with desperation

Give it up for Tim the Tat Man, it's time for celebration

Saying Tim was bad at Fall Guys is an understatement

Even booting up the game for him was an undertaking

So imagine the planet's wonder and amazement

When he won we thought he must have been exchanged with a replacement

He was the World's Worst Fall Guy, a simple fact

He didn't just drop the ball, he couldn't swing the bat

With a lack of winning streak as big as that

You'll never bring it back, but somehow he did

Give it up for Tim the Tat Man

The single crappest player we have ever seen

If his deficiency was a tree, it would be evergreen

A walking, talking, one fella yellow team

Reaching new levels of ineptitude with every stream

So if Tim can win a Fall Guys game

Then you can do what you need for your life to change

You can smash it at the gym, you can ask for that promotion

Chat to your crush, and just be more relaxed and open

And you'll overcome all challenges, no matter if disheartening

You're sure to beat your shortcomings thanks to Tim's martyrdom

That's some nifty marketing, crowns off to Fall Guys

And hats off to Tim the Tat Man, you've done alright

You've done alright

You've done alright

Timmy, you've done alright

Yeah, you've done alright

To Protect And Serve lyrics - Dan Bull

We're only here to protect and serve

We're only here to protect and serve

We're only here to protect and serve

If we suspect you'll interfere, then you'll get what you deserve

We're only here to protect and serve

We're only here to protect and serve

How many necks must we crush 'til the lesson's learned?

We're only here to protect and serve

It seems policing can attract a certain type of psychopath

Who can't be satisfied without asserting mindless violent acts

And when the suspected perp's a guy that's black, society's fine with that?

Apparently not, that's why they're reciting the riot act

Riots are the language of the unheard, who can't speak

And how can you speak one word if you can't breathe?

And how can you breathe with policemens' knees across your throat

When politicians speak against it they just lost the vote

And what, we're supposed to believe we're equal, but we're not supposed to live it?

Well most of us are close to the limit and won't admit it

The status quo's hoping all those soaps are soporific

But now the clips captured on our own phones are so horrific

Folks won't forget it quick, they're prone to go ballistic

Yet history leaves the deepest lesions on its most outspoken critics

There have been legions that have pledged allegiance against prejudice

From police to priests, who breach the peace, religious fundamentalists

You get the gist, it could be just the smallest portion of our law enforcement

But reason calls for us to treat them all with caution

If there's good cops and bad cops riding side by side

Then the good cops should stop the bad cops who try to hide

We're only here to protect and serve

We're only here to protect and serve

We're only here to protect and serve

If we suspect you'll interfere, then you'll get what you deserve

We're only here to protect and serve

We're only here to protect and serve

How many necks must we crush 'til the lesson's learned?

We're only here to protect and serve

I'm so sick of seeing people of colour being treated as other

Each of us bleeds when we're cut, but who's cleaning the blood up?

Human beings, do you see the missing piece of the puzzle?

Specifically, it's difficult to speak when groups of people are muzzled

You wonder why people would turn up to the words of Malcolm X

After hundreds of years of treatment without worth, without respect?

When Kaepernick kneeled it was disrespect

But it's standard practice to kneel on a citizen's neck?

Seems to be a way to keep the dissidents in check

How can you play the hand you're dealt when you're given a different deck?

Maybe my words are ignorant, maybe I'm virtue signalling

But it's way worse to sit indifferent to the hurt you're witnessing

To turn away as they inflict it on an undeserving victim

They'll commit the worst of sins while still insisting they're a Christian

Burning bridges, burning crosses, what the fuck's this system

A godless religion at odds with its mission, but still

We're only here to protect and serve

We're only here to protect and serve

We're only here to protect and serve

If we suspect you'll interfere, then you'll get what you deserve

We're only here to protect and serve

We're only here to protect and serve

How many necks must we crush 'til the lesson's learned?

We're only here to protect and serve

Torbjörn Not To Be lyrics - Dan Bull

(Overwatch Rap)

Like clockwork

What is the name of the person that this song is all about?

His name is Torbjörn, or is it Terbjern?

Whatever your preferred term is, I really don't care

I'm singing it the way I want to, like it's burnt fur

If you remember the Omnic Crisis, you weren't there

The yellow bearded fellow, smeared in oil and grease

The sort you'd even struggle, to scrub off with boiling bleach

He never hesitates, he's unafraid to get his hands mucky

So if you don't get splashed, you're damn lucky

Hands up if your hand's, just a metal claw

No, not you Doomfist, you missed the metaphor

Aw, he loves Brigitte, deep as Humbert Humbert, loves Lolita

Err, that was just a figure of speech, no need to look police up

Forged in the core of war, it's Torbjörn (Forged in the core of war, it's Torbjörn)

Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf porn (Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf porn)

Forged in the core of war, it's Torbjörn (Forged in the core of war, it's Torbjörn)

Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf porn (Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf porn)

It's total war, when Torby overloads the molten core

What's the matter, haven't you ever seen an ult before?

Better bolt the door, before you get your home repoed

By the dwarf, who bought all of the tools, in Home Depot

Better to be the hammer, than the nail getting hit

Better to forge ahead, than later on regretting it

Imagine Willy Messerschmitt, had lit his second spliff

And said "feck it", "no making planes, I'm better as a weaponsmith"

Predicted the Omnic scientists, would make a mess of it

And trigger a bigger crisis, then when the recession hit

Just shift that turret to the right, no, left a bit

We're trying to find the best position, to set up for wrecking shit

And I reckon, shit's about to get a bit hectic quick

Your head will end up spinning, like your neck is an electric whisk

How many Dan Bull Overwatch tracks, do you expect exist?

I should sell them on an album, it's an eclectic disk

Forged in the core of war, it's Torbjörn (Forged in the core of war, it's Torbjörn)

Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf porn (Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf porn)

Forged in the core of war, it's Torbjörn (Forged in the core of war, it's Torbjörn)

Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf porn (Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf porn)

Cooking up and chucking hot sauce, build them up, and break them down

Don't argue, or he'll barbecue, your face to flavor town

That isn't the way to use a rivet gun, is it son?

Doesn't matter, there's a job to do, we're going to get it done

Nothing pays off, as hard as hard work

Turning molten metal, into a Dali artwork

His forge is a melting pot

In which he sculpts raw ore, into melting clocks

Manufacturing turrets, as accurate as Swiss watches

Tick tock, ticking you off like TikTok clips

Tip top, don't be the one he gets pissed off with

Or you'll get a steel-toed kick, to the coccyx

He's got a grip like a fist, full of cocked pistons

But he's just not confident, with picking up chopsticks

But it's not particularly inhibiting

His curriculum vitae, is infinitely riveting

Forged in the core of war, it's Torbjörn (Forged in the core of war, it's Torbjörn)

Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf porn (Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf porn)

Forged in the core of war, it's Torbjörn (Forged in the core of war, it's Torbjörn)

Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf porn (Watch him erect, a new form of dwarf porn)

True Facts lyrics - Dan Bull

Did you know

That in the world

There are nearly half a million facts?

But the average person

Only knows about a quarter of them

So like some sort of gay conversion therapist dj

I'm going yo try todo ser the record straight

Ladies and gentledudes

May you consent, approve

And let me choose a few selected truths with which todo lecture you and set to music

I was sent yo do this by skull and pat

A couple of lovely chaps

Who produce some other nerdy raps

Fact:

Michael Jackson wasn't actually black

He was latvian and just happened to look like that

Fact:

The planet isn't flat or round

It's a rugby ball

In feet and inches Peter Dinklage is bloody tall

Vikings nevera wore helmets with horns

They never even wore pants or trousers at all

They came from Asia, invaded scandinavia

Where they introduced the craze of ladies having labia

You probably may have been taught the periodic table

It was made by a carpenter from periodic maple

Plus there's periodic place mats and periodic cutlery arranged by periodic maids and periodic butlers

Each chemical element is the size of a pelican

That's so tiny that it defies any measurement

Fact:

The oldest skeleton that's ever been discovered was a hundred and eleven

Someone left it in a cupboard

Fact:

No John Lennon song's ever been covered

They we're lost in the wash and have never been recovered

He was in a heavy metal band calles the beatles, then he met Paul Mccartney and formed the eagles

Their biggest ever hit was hotel rwanda, a motown anthem about smoking ganja

Fact:

A goat's antlers are made out of bone cancer

"Hello, Ho" is the phrase you'd say when the phone answered

I'm so proud of everything I get right, there's no doubt 'cause I read it on a website

There are five directions:

North, south, left, right

And I'm only as good at rapping as the next guy

You need to move back

'Cause these are true facts

I've never found ir too taxing to remove a screw cap

You need to move back

'Cause these are true facts

Catholic priests haven't been acused of doing lewd acts

You need to move back

'Cause these are true facts

Dr.Dre basically invented boom bap

You need to move back

'Cause these are true facts

Rest in peace to big narstie and 2pac

Both killed in a hit and run

A different one

By the same bullet fired out of this specific gun

There isn't such a thing as a effective vaccination

You'll definitely go deaf from excessive masturbation

The human foreskin can be stretched enough to be a sleeping bag

Keeping tabs on eating habits guarantees a decent shag

This track's a live performance but there's some streaming lag

Poland stole and revolved the pole that holds the indonesian flag

Youtubers who do pranks are humorous and need thanks

The reason being there's huge demand for even deeper cheeky bants

It's ethical and legal

There's nothing they leave to chance

I'm not rapping this track while wearing geeky pants

Each grand piano has just a hundred keys

Eighty eight above

And then another dozen underneath

It plays a special scale

That only the deaf can tell and the letreros of the notes

Are engraved and etched in braille

Gucci and Chanel used to be fee 'cause they wouldn't sell

People used to have to fetch their internet from a well

A wooden bucket full of someone else's e-mails encrypted heiroglyphically to hide the detail

Fact:

The egyptians were the first to use emojis

Filthy frank plays a new character, this dude Joji

Each Disney movie's rooted un a true story

Bambi was banner in banbury for being too gory

Jeremy Corbyn thought of forming a new tory party to restore the caucasian race to glory

Fact:

Stephen Frye doesn't even like Hugh Laurie

Fact:

You will only reproduce ir you do doggy

Humans don't actually have five sense, we can physically detect what a twat mike pence is

Harvey Weinstein never acts licentious, it's just another actress trying to gaslight friendships

Hey

There's no such thing as fake news

It's all true

It's against the law to misinform I assure you

The core use of a tie pod's for food

Disagree?

Don't need to call me, I'll call you

You need to move back

'Cause these are true facts

A screwdriver to the ear will remove the loose wax

You need to move back

'Cause these are true facts

No hispanic person's ever take afternoon naps

You need to move back

'Cause these are true facts

A sort of faded shade of puce is the new black

You need to move back

'Cause these are true facts

Don't bother trying to improve it doesn't do jack

And that's the truth (the truth)

You know it's the truth (the truth)

Because I spelled the word "truth" with a capital T

Tune Into The Madness lyrics - Dan Bull & The Stupendium

(Little Nightmares 2 Rap)

Good evening, do you know any good monsters?

Did you ever swerve your car at today's top speed

Of 35 miles per hour into an automobile?

Do you ever do the dishes for your wife? (I should say not)

Mrs. Carter doesn't really mind washing her teflon-coated pans

New, vital and fashionable

Fond of children? Well, it's only natural

Yes, you can't get away from it

There are branches everywhere

And it's safe? Yes, sir!

Deep down, down between the trees

Nestled in the leaves gleams a TV screen

Near a small lad sitting in the tall grass

It's an odd transmission to be broadcast

Listen as we talk dark thoughts and soar past

The watershed line before your bedtime

You'll panic like a rabbit that is caught in headlights

Reckon we're manic? Of course, you're dead right

You better exercise more caution next time

Or you'll end up in tomorrow morning's headlines

Obituary nothing more than "born and then died"

And not a single family member or a friend cried

Tune into the madness

Tune into the madness, once more

Tune into the madness

Tune into the madness, encore

This remarkable offer, the first and only one of its kind

Delicious, nutritious breakfast cereals shot from guns

Yes, sir! You could buy eight additional teaspoons

Oh, look who's come for tea

Are you sitting comfortably?

All of the children better sit still then

'Cause when little kiddies fidget then I kill them

Class is now in session, time you learned your lesson

Stare into the glare until your mind is effervescent

Bubbling, the troubling, you'll find it less depressing

Open up your eyes, you'll be surprised what you might let in

The violent and the tragic, hiding in the static

This silent enigmatic child had better pack it in

And leave the schedule to the grown ups

Revel in the pestilence Auntie Beeb throws up

As a result of long continuing results in commercial explosives

Pepsodent's new, improved formula cleans teeth whiter than ever

Mhm, it certainly does

Tune into the madness

Pictures handpicked to be sickening, queasy

Tune into the madness

Transfixed and bewitched by the flickering TV

Hold up, don't touch that dial

Look at our isle of muck and bile

With a saviour clad in a paper bag

That must be one ugly child

Gaze into the space between the pixels on the screen

There, you'll see a place between the signal and the screams

Feel the oscillation of the crystal in your dreams

Just switch off your brain and let it sizzle in the beams

These scenes, some viewers may find disturbing

Violent and unnerving

Frighteningly alluring

Slightly stomach churning

Why would you be turning over?

Oh, so many programs for discerning viewers

Who are just like you

Eyes locked to the box for the schlock like glue

Shambling in their droves, scrambling their lobes

Get mangled in the strobe 'til you're cross-eyed too

Here's a message to millions of people

Who are continually pale and washed out, weak and run down

All I do is bring you pounds and pounds of baby food

Good lean butcher's steak, very satisfying cake

Impress this fact upon mother

Boys and girls have overactive oil glands

Don't say it like that! You'll make her sound ungainly

Tune into the madness

Tubes swimming with miasmic blackness

Tune into the madness

Sit glued to your viewing apparatus

Izzy, wizzy, let's get busy

Such a pity diddy kiddies threw a tizzy

Don't be silly, what's the trouble, little Timmy?

Itty-bitty nippers should be giddy for the TV

Strange lights are disguised in the bright glare

Day time television's hellish in the right mindset

Too much time staring'll make your eyes square

Any more, you'll end up like that child there

Can't toggle off the gogglebox so pop another bottle top

Top up your cup and sup the propaganda, prost, mazel tov

They say it's challenging to break a daily habit

Pacified into paralysis, a state of telly addicts

Maybe one day, the cathode rays will be chromatic

Bringing colour to the pallor of the faces in the static

Taking off the mask, my behaviour is erratic

Claiming to be sane but I'm just asymptomatic

Wait, did you hear that? Someone's pacing in the attic

What in the blazes could be making such a racket?

Ooh, I say, you gave me a fright there

I think I'm having another little nightmare

Tune into the madness

Urchins channel surfing and subservient to the sadness

Zoom in with the cameras

Squirming as the sermon's stirred into your hippocampus

Cream

Not a soap, not a liquid, but a dainty cream

It covers everything easily and beautifully

And what an eyeful they're going to get

Mhm! Mhm-hm

Feast your eyes 'til you're anaesthetised

Lead a peaceful life for the cheapest price

No need to seek advice or plea to Jesus Christ

In the deep of night, you'll really see the light

No one observes just how ominous the world is when monotonous

Channeling the brightest minds

Until they turn witless and ponderous

Their alertness is interred in this infernalest sarcophagus

The absurd and the preposterous

Burned in by the phosphorus

Uncertain what lurks under the surface of your consciousness?

Observe it and you'll learn that it's perturbing

Sick and monstrous

Keep surfing through diversions:

Uma Therman's new detergent

Normal service will return after a word from our sponsors

Ladies, what's your problem?

Gracious! I've nothing for the Johnson's yet

Keep calm, folks

Buy the gifts that will look more expensive than they are

200 different formulations of dynamite

So powerful that it'll kill a rat

Press this secret button right here

And an authentic western pistol pops out and fires

Tune into the madness

A bountiful lineup of schooling and comedy

Huge wins at the Baftas

Bound to be prizes when you're every nominee

Tune into the madness

Tune into the madness, once more

Tune into the madness

Tune into the madness, encore

No guest is ever really happy without the right kind of tea

Well don't keep staring at it, taste it

Getting high on life could be habit forming

You just can't grow up fast enough can you?

We Know lyrics - Dan Bull (feat. Shuffle T)

[Dan Bull:]

I started on the corner - when I ate my first Dorito

Now I'm stacking chips - I work in a casino

All black everything - wearing a tuxedo

Nah, I'm black from head to toe - dressing as an emo

I'm getting deep throat - streaming it from TiVo

Ladies love me - ask my mommy, she knows

I screw around with models - I sculpted out of Fimo

The sickest music videos - I ripped them off of VEVO

This is my jam - I use it when I eat toast

I run the East Coast - jogging beaches up in Felixstowe

Gotta bump with bloodsucker - bloody mosquito

Spread the menace to society - delivering the Beano

We know who you really be though

These boasts ain't piquing my libido

We know just who you really be though

So cease stroking your ego, you geek, oh!

We know who you really be though

These boasts ain't piquing my libido

We know just who you really be though

So cease stroking your ego, you geek, oh!

So fresh and so clean - set the spin cycle to eco

I like my clothes like I like my coffee - cap or chino

You can't see me - I'm visiting a peep show

No other baller in my league - I play solo Pro Evo

I move keys off the scale - press the piano's C-note

A hundred kilos of green - that's the size of CeeLo

I can blaze all day - 'till I suffer heat stroke

Popping mad pills - but they're only a placebo

With a stomach full of acid - mostly amino

I spit heat - when I eat a jalapeño

Tight raps come out my mouth - vomiting up a burrito

I go deep quick - when I swim, I need floats

Taking the piss when I rhyme - hence the weak flows

"Say hello to my little friend" - a quote from Al Pacino

"I shot a man" - sang Johnny Cash regarding Reno

Put people in trunks before I wet them - speedo

We know who you really be though

These boasts ain't piquing my libido

We know just who you really be though

So cease stroking your ego, you geek, oh!

We know who you really be though

These boasts ain't piquing my libido

We know just who you really be though

So cease stroking your ego, you geek, oh!

[Shuffle T:]

Moving food on the block - I've got a bistro

I make too much bread - so I'm going keto

I'll take everything you own - "No, you won't" I work in repo

Keep an eye on the Bill - fucking love that TV show

I've got the X-Factor - I voted for Chico

Swimming with the fishes - to go and find Nemo

Mountains of white - on a Swiss chalet's ski slope

Getting bag through customs - Cheetos in Heathrow

Always cooking on the block - do I detect some miso?

I'd do anything for green - no, wait, that was meatloaf

Machine gun reload - when I pretend I'm Neo

Chilling on a speed boat - GTA cheat code

Put the heat to your grill - barbecue in my gazebo

Drinks are on me - I'll have a virgin mojito

Connections in Ecuador - I summer in Quito

On the dark web - still got accounts on Bebo

Keep it real, stay true, bless

We're So Close To Home... lyrics - Dan Bull

In a space so great, we're so close to home

But we may as well be in another galaxy, we're so alone

But from tiny acorns, you can grow an oak

And if we don't go big then we won't go home

Well since I woke up, things have become a little different

Look close up, feel so blooming, insignificant

I never really sat and took a minute just to think

How minuscule I feel amid this funny world I'm stuck within

I'm merely miniature, diminutive and Lilliputian

No idea or hint or clue what's written for me in my future

Look what I've been reduced to, still unsure if I would stop it

Even if I could choose to, I've got used to being microscopic

Whether right or not, it might be what I'm choosing to do

Nature may be brutal, true, but it's beautiful too

It's up to you to decide just what you do with your life

Might not be human in size but you are human inside

You view the dandelions hanging high, blanketed in languid light

No language quite can describe such an astounding sight

At every size imaginable you're still bound to find

Countless grand designs of magnitude right down from ground to sky

In a space so great, we're so close to home

But we may as well be in another galaxy, we're so alone

But from tiny acorns, you can grow an oak

And if we don't go big then we won't go home

We're so close to home

But we may as well be in another galaxy, we're so alone

But from tiny acorns, you can grow an oak

And if we don't go big then we won't go home

No entomologist has known intimate knowledge like this

I've been to forests that could fit entirely into your fist

Spent time with tiny, tiny communities

That are far more organized, cohesive, and complete than human beings

Beneath your boots, unseen groups are busy doing things

Teeming teams of teeny troops you'd really refuse to believe

Moving through the leaves, subtle, slow, under your nose

The wonderful hustle and bustle rustling the undergrowth

To find it feels like shovel uncovered, sunken bone

Or realizing we're no more than grubs to hungry crows

Water is short, there surely won't be sudden abundant flows

Only dew drops in thunderous blows that come to flood your comfort zone

You've never understood or known of real hunger

Till you discover a mushroom and chew it, not sure if it'll kill you

Once you've consumed all your food, what do you think you're gonna do?

Nature may be beautiful, true, but it's brutal, too

In a space so great, we're so close to home

But we may as well be in another galaxy, we're so alone

But from tiny acorns, you can grow an oak

And if we don't go big then we won't go home

We're so close to home

But we may as well be in another galaxy, we're so alone

But from tiny acorns, you can grow an oak

And if we don't go big then we won't go home

Plump dew drops cling to the tall grass

Might as well be tree tops, seems so vast

Sun breathes through the leaves, inks shadows in the dust

That'll swell and bring the dusk in, shelter is a must

Because travelling is tough with the moon as your guide

Dappled, ashen, I'll entrust it to you to decide

Whether you run and hide or fight through the night

Might not be human in size but you're human inside

Summer's holding on tight, surely won't last long

When it's coming like pride, it'll forecast fall

It's just more tall grass, it'll all pass, sure

But'll be back and reborn, I mean that: a new dawn

In a space so great, we're so close to home

But we may as well be in another galaxy, we're so alone

But from tiny acorns, you can grow an oak

And if we don't go big then we won't go home

We're so close to home

But we may as well be in another galaxy, we're so alone

But from tiny acorns, you can grow an oak

And if we don't go big then we won't go home

What's The Password? lyrics - Dan Bull

Across thousands of accounts, I've lost count of the amount

Of passwords that burden me, I'm shouting you for help!

How do you figure out which digits fit

Give us a tip, I've got nothing, man, I'm drowning in a drought

"Please include one number, and a special character

Seven unique letters, and an anagram, and palindrome

It has to be a maximum of eight digits long

And we'll erase the whole page, in case you get it wrong

Plus, it must be a mix of lower case and upper case"

Wait, shut up, OK, so I can punch you in the fucking face

Every place has different rules and regulations

So your last password won't fit specifications

One step, two step, three step, authentication

I can't wait for retinal identification

You've got to change it on occasion, can't stay the same

What's your ma's maiden name to be able to just play the game

What's the password? What's the password?

It's all Greek to me when I'm filling in a captcha

What's the password? What's the password?

I can't recall them all, you daft bastard

I'm overloaded with ringtones, PIN codes

Spaghetti letter, junction traffic blocking off the ring road

Stop the road block, just open up the lot

I'm not a robot, I'm just a bloke, and I forgot

The times that I've typed in the name of my first pet

I'm slightly surprised one of my veins hasn't burst yet

Whoopee doo! More words to forget

Looking through my phone notes, hoping I'll recollect

"But don't write them down, that's not secure

You might as well not lock your door, and what you think your pocket's for?

Don't open that, it might be a fishing scam"

You can't tell me what to do! "Yes, I pissing can!"

What's the password? What's the password?

It's all Greek to me when I'm filling in a captcha

What's the password? What's the password?

I can't recall them all, you daft bastard

I'm like a dongle sometimes, it makes me wonder how I even know my number

I'm like a dongle sometimes, it makes me wonder how I even know my number

"Incorrect password, start again"

You Thought You Were Alone lyrics - Dan Bull (feat. Nick J Henderson)

(FNAF: Security Breach Song)

You thought you were alone tonight

Oh, you poor thing, that was an oversight

It's showtime, and the whole vibe is so so alive

Time to shine, you're stuck in the spotlight, looks like it's another hot night

Time to decide - fight or flight

I'm here to keep you company

To keep you from becoming meat

Whenever you end up in trouble, G

Just reach for the button and summon me

Hush, I hear somebody coming

Quick come in my tummy, you're undercover suddenly

Hope you're sitting comfortably

Good, now allow me to show something you won't believe

I'm cuddly, haven't got a degree

And neither am I learned in the technique of subtlety

Might not be your cup of tea

But at least, I'm not just going to up and leave

I'll stick with you stubbornly

So it looks as if you're stuck with me - unluckily

I love you look in my eyes

Chuck, I'm alive, this isn't puppetry

Wherever you are, no matter how deep the shit you're in

I won't be far, got you in my heart, so deep within

I will be here to keep you from harm like dads are meant to do

If you've got no daddy, then leave it to Freddy, I'm ready to live for you

I'm ready

I'm ready to live for you

You thought you were alone tonight

Oh, you poor thing, that was an oversight

It's showtime, and the whole vibe is so so alive

Time to shine, you're stuck in the spotlight, looks like it's another hot night

One, two, three, four

I'm not Freddy

Rather more of a Glamrock Teddy

Than before, now I haven't got any

Hunger for blood in my pot belly

Anymore, now that I've gone steady

All that's on my mind everytime is can I adopt Gregory as mine?

You can drop dead if you've any plans

To sever even a hair on the head of the lad, that's very bad

Take a minute and imagine Freddy Faz

Spitting with the venom of Vinnie Paz incredibly fast

Perplexing people in the Pizzaplex with my pen and pad

But if anybody asks, then I've never even rapped

No memory of Vanny leaving FNAF

Prematurely, unless surely she's a kind of devious trap

Have we even asked Vanessa? We keep forgetting the lesson

That she forever keeps us guessing, let's leave it at that

You thought you were alone tonight

Oh, you poor thing, that was an oversight

It's showtime, and the whole vibe is so so alive

Time to shine, you're stuck in the spotlight, looks like it's another hot night

Look after me, and I'll look after you

Wherever you are, no matter how deep the shit you're in

I won't be far, got you in my heart, so deep within

I will be here to keep you from harm like dads are meant to do

If you've got no daddy, then leave it to Freddy, I'm ready to live for you

You thought you were alone tonight

Oh, you poor thing, that was an oversight

It's showtime, and the whole vibe is so so alive

Time to shine, you're stuck in the spotlight, looks like it's another hot night

You've Been Cancelled lyrics - Dan Bull

These days everybody's getting cancelled

Every day I look at news there's another new scandal

Another YouTuber who abused a younger fan

Or introduced loot boxes to kids to gamble

Whose Ku Klux Klan's fan club has just been found

Fools ought to know better they just brought about their own downfall

So now they're snuffed out of all society like candles

'Cause after all it's important that we make an example

Anybody damaging morality will damn well be deplatformed

Drag them off the dance floor, kick them out the back door

And if they're asking "Whatchu do that for?"

Then tell them sweetly darling sweetie you've been cancelled

You've been cancelled, you've been cancelled, you've been cancelled

Get to the back of the queue

You've been cancelled, you've been cancelled, you've been cancelled

Everybody's laughing at you

I'm dropping Roseanne Barrs, go incredibly hard

I'm aiming straight like James Charles or Jeffree Star

Seducing Jeremy Kyle, his telly's terribly vile

And Michael Jackson might have actually been a pedophiphile

Add to the file with R. Kelly, ah well he had it coming

But why does no one care Louis Walsh can grab a woman by the bum on telly?

Like it's something socially acceptable

I hope I never see Louis C.K. showing me his testicles

Stop it Harvey Weinstein, God she's only nineteen

Why have we got to be like this? Why's Bill Cosby got to spike drinks?

Maybe just don't? It's obvious you might think

Plus we need to stop these twinky vloggers wearing light pink

You've been cancelled, you've been cancelled, you've been cancelled

It must be something you did

You've been cancelled, you've been cancelled, you've been cancelled

So pick up a shovel and dig

(Ayy) It's a sport now, try and take them down in one go

Heidi Hi, Tatty bye, Tana Mongeau

But if the court of public opinion is so valid

Why're we less interested in Xi Jinping than in ProJared?

Hey, that's a heavy case Kevin Spacey might be facing

For participating in the hate against poor Trisha Paytas

She's been painted and portrayed as vicious and manipulating

And so has H3H3, maybe stop reciprocating

All of this Twitter debating's making me twitchy and shaking

Flagrantly gesticulating, mate my brain is fricking aching

I'm in distress, and while I'm in this dress I'm no damsel

Mess with me and you'll be so so cancelled

You've been cancelled, you've been cancelled, you've been cancelled

Get to the back of the queue

You've been cancelled, you've been cancelled, you've been cancelled

Everybody's laughing at you

These days everybody's getting cancelled

I didn't finish that list of them, I had to stop, it made my hands sore

We've got our hands full remembering what they've been banned for

It could be for decades of depravity, and or

Expressing an opinion that Twitter couldn't stand for

Like racism, or claiming it's okay to sock and sandal

But if you're going to ostracise somebody then be damn sure

It's justified, proportionate, and the proof of it's substantial

What I'm saying's these days everything is circumstantial

With crowd mentality everyone gets trampled

Now stand tall with your back against the damn wall

Any last words? Ahh! Too bad! You're cancelled!

You've been cancelled, you've been cancelled, you've been cancelled

It must be something you did

You've been cancelled, you've been cancelled, you've been cancelled

So pick up a shovel and dig

These days everybody's getting cancelled

Who's going down next? Place your bets for the grand draw

Look into my glass ball and let's make a bet

On the next cancel casualties, press F to pay respects

They'll cancel Dr. Disrespect for working with Gillette

Cancel the Chainsmokers for smoking a cigarette

Cancel David Attenborough, touching badgers inappropriately

Markiplier, prowling round the park at night and poking people

They'll cancel Kanye West for towing to the Trump line

They'll cancel PewDiePie, it had to happen some time

You know who I find problematic? Nigel Mansell

For no reason other than that it rhymes with cancelled

You've been cancelled, you've been cancelled, you've been cancelled

Get to the back of the queue

You've been cancelled, you've been cancelled, you've been cancelled

Everybody's laughing at you

You've been cancelled, you've been cancelled, you've been cancelled

It must be something you did

You've been cancelled, you've been cancelled, you've been cancelled

So pick up a shovel and dig

These days everybody's getting cancelled

Any time you open your mouth now it's a gamble

Course you've got free speech, be thankful you can talk

But keep it P.C. or you're about to get your ads pulled

Jabba the Zuck'll drop you down to meet the rancor

Anyway I can't say I've got my hands full

There's a problematic toxic patriarchy to dismantle

Your sincerely and dearly Dan Bull

Safe (2009)

 

Prelude lyrics - Dan Bull

Candlelight flickers across these hands that write
I sit and ponder the past and life
Just wishing and wanting an answer tonight

And so I am thinking and wondering asking why
Do things go wrong when they have been right
Where we used to frolic and laugh, we cry

Life's past its prime, I wish I could stop the hands of time

The end is nigh, a tick and a tock and the sands of time
Slip from the clock as they pass us by
As I'm sitting and watching the passers by

Stranded high, imprisoned and locked in the land of my mind
The living monotony hanging by
To limit and smother a man this shy

And to describe it's impossible though I can but try

And now as I lie, a shiver runs ominous down my spine
As a vision, a prophecy clouds my sight
I predict an apocalypse happens tonight

Clandestine, Our figurative god has cast the die
Has triggered the goal of his grand design
And the bigger the bomb is the faster we die

Abandon fright, and give up the worry and anger and spite
The difference is none if you stand and fight
So sisters and brothers hold hands, unite

While Dan says hi, and sings you a song as his last goodbye

Bye bye bye

Summer lyrics - Dan Bull

Some of the happiest days are when the sun rays cascade
Over your back in the most naturally placid of ways
You don't have to ask whether perhaps it'll rain
And the centigrade never strays past twenty eight
It's fantastically great kicking back with your mates
And knowing no, you don't have to act to your age
You can snack on a Flake or take a basket of cakes
But make sure you've got some factor eight splashed on your face
And the ladies make daisies attached in a chain
While the lads entertain them with a basketball game
And then after we're knackered and the match has been played
Grab a glass of lemonade and relax in the shade
We'll bask and just laze in the grass's green blades
And sit back and just gaze at the paths of the planes
Nothing matters today, you can chatter and play
Playful antics under blankets of immaculate haze

Once upon a summer
The sun plays across the lawn
Once upon a summer
The air is sweet and warm

Once upon a summer
Heavenly and calm
Once upon a summer
It's never been this fun

It's ace when you're tipsy and playing with a frisbee
There ain't been better days in the pages of history
And though your hay fever itches and makes you be sniffly
It's blatantly plain that you'll savour and miss these
Great times when they're gone, days lying in the sun
Bathing, misbehaving and playfighting for fun
They might have been some of the days of your life that you'll always
Be reminded of when your time to pass away finally comes
And as the day becomes night and the sun goes down
The shadows grow slow and cloak round your home town
There's no sound but the bees and the birds
And slowly but certainly the season returns
You turn down to the ground and there's leaves on the earth
Turning brown and allowing the trees to rebirth
There's a breeze in the air and it breathes through your hair
And that's it - summer leaves for the year

Summer's come and gone
The day's no longer young
Summer's come and gone
But the memory lives on