My plumbin' be drippin' out water
Tap on, I wanna repair it
But I can't find a plumber to come and look at it
Because of corona, we don't wanna get it
I gotta spend a lot
Two-week waiting list on my grocery shoppin'
I need that loo roll today
Been usin' my naked hand to wipe my bottom
Call that the ploppin' challenge
Proper bellend
What's apparent's
That I got the talent
So you better not be tellin'
Anybody that I'm not 'cause I'll complain
More than a caucasian lady with a Bo
Yeah, watch it Karen
Ha, lethal, I damage you
Now, let me speak to your manager
Hold your government to account
Don't allow them to cause any balls up
Before this month, we were all in the pub
Now we're all subbed to PornHub
Can't get a haircut
Barbers? They're shut
Check my minimal new shoes, barefoot
Mayday, mayday
Amazon isn't delivering the same day
Ay, JJ
Less drip, more toilet roll, let's
Try wipin' your arse with a Rolex
Trust, it won't just be encrusted with diamonds
And I wonder why when women withhold sex
Got the whole wide world cock blockin'
By this point I'd... dot cotton
'Scuse me, can't stop coughin'
Should probably get checked
But I've not got the option
Why's it easier to get a disease
Than to be tested for the toxin?
Remember the days you could head off to Sainsbury's
Straight away and just pop in
Now I can't buy it
Guess I'm on a diet
So why's my weight not droppin'?
Could be 'cause I'm not movin' from day to day
I spent £200 on takeaways
Hey, it's aneasy mistake to make
But there's a way to change it up straight away
Look, mate
Till the other day I was a lazy sob
Now I don't want to come home from a daily job
Shit got me tossing salads
Appropriating things off Italians
Can't even get a spoonful of sugar now
That's the poppins challenge
Now try the lock-in challenge
Just stay in your fucking dwellings
Tucked up snug as a bug in your home
Or you could end up looking like Bugzy Malone
Bloomin' hell, I'm in trouble now
Couldn't help runnin' my mouth
Without dumbin' it down
Still, you kind of like my style
Kind of hate it
Hi mom, I finally made it
Me and my mom have been tight for ages
Come to think of it, we might be related
Anyway, I better be headin' away
I'm late for an appointment in bed, hibernatin'
But by the way, my name's Dan Bull
And I might one day replace Randolph
So I'd advise you to like and subscribe today
Let me provide my handles and channel
Boom
Boom
I can't stop singin' this bloody tune
Tune
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