H2ODelirious lyrics - Dan Bull

This is a hold-up!

Ten Million

I've got a Double Daryl shotgun, pointed at your bottom

Now hand over the Diamond Play Button

'Cause his facemask's stainless steel

It's attached to his face like a grapefruit peel

Dat face reveal's gonna make 'em squeal

But when's it gonna be?

Patient, we'll need to negociate a deal

Then maybe we'll see about making it real

He's a mystical being from space

Even his family hasn't seen his face

And I know I shouldn't tell you this, he'll be fumin'

But he looks just like a typical human

And assuming you didn't figure it out already

He really loves his teddy

When he doesn't get a hug he becomes unsteady

Vomit on his sweater, mom's spaghetti

You're getting soaked no stopping the leak

Like a toddler reluctant to sleep

Acting as if he's got nothing to eat

But he's one of the top, the elite

I got as many views in my career

As Delirious has just got in a week

You better Shuch up when I drop on the beat

Because even though he can't properly speak

He will climb greatness mountain and then grab

Greatness's tits at the top of the peak

He can play Gmod Hide and Seek

With Vanoss then switch up to Hide and Shriek

Everyday's Friday the Thirteenth, so

Check your sub box first thing, oh

He plus Gmod are peas in a pea pod

Try and stop him and there'll be a season of Jihad

Fighting over who might be the supreme God

They've both never been seen, does it seem odd?

The Delirious family knows

We're unlike the average joes

Or Mannequin hoes

The insanity shows

No wonder mom and dad are panicking loads

Your'e damned if you do and you're damned if you don't

So strap on the mask and gooooo

The moon tide is tugging on my heart strings

This chorus should sound so much better but I can't sing

So instead of singing melodies

I just sort of rythmically speak

About climbing greatness mountain and grabbing

Greatness's tits at the top of the peak

Oh, the moon tide is tugging on my heart strings

This chorus should sound so much better but I can't sing

So instead of singing melodies

I just sort of rythmically speak

About climbing greatness mountain and grabbing

Greatness's tits at the top of the peak

Why so serious, why so blue?

Ain't H2O Delirious right fo' you?

Why? What lenghts could a guy go to

To provide your amusement, acquire those views

In Vinewood driving a Rhino through

Find Shia LeBeouf and call him Shilo Boof

Ahem, that was a typo, oops

No need to correct me you snide lil' douche

Everyone's a critic, the line's so true

When you get what creators online go through

"You're so useless and I'm so cool"

I can hit a low and a high note too

'Scuse me but do I know you?

Telling me to die, bro, why don't you

Shuch up!

You're in serious need of a

TOUCH UP!

I don't meen make up, I mean getting

ROUGHED UP!

Shuch up!

If you found that offensive well then

You should have heard what I took out the

Rough cut!

Shuch up!

If you don't, I've a prediction

Shuch up!

You'll become a survivor victim

Shuch up!

Just Shuch up! Shuch up! Shuch up!

Just Shuch up! Shuch up! Shuch up!

Just Shuch up!

Or I'll introduce my foot to your buttocks

The moon tide is tugging on my heart strings

This chorus should sound so much better but I can't sing

So instead of singing melodies

I just sort of rythmically speak

About climbing greatness mountain and grabbing

Greatness's tits at the top of the peak

Boat wrecker, dope peddlar, vogue setter

Go getter, joke teller, so clever

Wana make a video better?

No pressure

Lol joke the heat's overloading your processor

You're a flat pack hat rack, he's an oak dresser

Don't imitate, come up with your own method

Or even better, just don't ever

Pimpin' out the lo lo with chrome leather

Taking over the show at his own leisure

While I study flows like a professor

We dunno whether dinos had no feathers

But we do know the zero's supposed to be a letter

It's totally an "O" not a number

This is a Courgette, this is a Cucumber

Known as zuchini

Oh 'scuse me, but I'm from overseas, so sue me

Goody two shoes and a blue hoody

Bloody shoes would he choose to be you buddy? Who?

True that he's too good he needs to be studied

To discover the gene making movies funny

Ten million subs that'll see YouTube

Then be "Please mummy, we need food"

How can I say this without seeming rude?

Pff, screw it, you're a penis dude!

The moon tide is tugging on my heart strings

This chorus should sound so much better but I can't sing

So instead of singing melodies

I just sort of rythmically speak

About climbing greatness mountain and grabbing

Greatness's tits at the top of the peak

Lemme begin a rap that's incredibly fast

See me get in and then vanish quicker

Than the fidget spinner fad

MiniLadd's getting really mad, checking the minimap

Like the fella was in Trinidad with a myriad

Of chickens when he meant to be in Chiliad, silly chap

Will he actually get'em back and intact, or be

Picking up a bit of litter and sticking it in a bag

With a death date written on the tag

I know true, it's a sucky task

But somebody's gotta do it so go fetch the hockey mask

That costume's Delirious, don't copy that

Hitting with the impact of a shotty blast

He needs food to bloat up his body mass

And make a meal montage with a Rocky track

One second, he's a fully jolly chap

And the next he's a bloody stroppy twat

And if you haven't ever heard of Batcoon

He's a badass, crime-fighting racoon

Kicking every villain's ass to this rap tune

'Til it make an excuse to leave, and soon

Delirious rhymes with:

Curious, Furious, Spurious and Devine Mysterious Experience

So get down on your knees and beg

With a prayer to the white circle easter egg

The moon tide is tugging on my heart strings

This chorus should sound so much better but I can't sing

So instead of singing melodies

I just sort of rythmically speak

About climbing greatness mountain and grabbing

Greatness's tits at the top of the peak

Oh, the moon tide is tugging on my heart strings

This chorus should sound so much better but I can't sing

So instead of singing melodies

I just sort of rythmically speak

About climbing greatness mountain and grabbing

Greatness's tits at the top of the peak

Hell Or High Water lyrics - Dan Bull

(Floodland Song - Climate Change Rap)

Hi neighbour! Nice day, but might rain yet

And by the way, climate change makes a great ice breaker

Hope you don't mind if I say what's on my mind lately

You do? Well I hate being the guy to break it to you

But human kind ain't advice takers, by nature

We're stuck to our ways, like stubborn bugs to fly paper

Rising tides aren't quite so high when spied from skyscrapers

So we'll keep making money now and decide how to survive later

We'll be fine, we're primates with a migratory mind state

But where do you relocate to when you can't find a dry acre?

It's so polluted though that you've no hope to hydrate here

Entire states lie in waste the change is night and day

This type of failure's kind of major, but hey that's the price we pay

For infinite growth inside a finite place

Isn't it gross? Revenue became our entire life's aim

Looks like the only way we'll learn to change our ways is via pain

When the levee breaks through, then it's fairly late to

Regret every mistake you, may have ever made

Come hell or high water, we'd better make a change

Why I ought to? Well, but then again

Heavy rain, ever so heavy rain

Funny how the flood is spreading as if it's aflame

Heavy rain, ever so heavy rain

See, never will the sea lever ever be the same

I remember civilisation started to creak at the seams

It seemed increasingly frequent to see the freakiest scenes

Streets full of people ceased to be peaceful, there was bleeding and screams

As they received beatings from eager police for breaching the peace

Here we see freedom in freefall

I mean is there even a need for thieving to eat

Or is it merely more evil and greed?

We've all ignored the awkward things that we've seen on our feed

But now they're written in your floods of tears, so read them and weep

See the double meaning to "we're in it deep"?

But inner demons and beasts? We can leave them deceased

We don't need them now that even our seasons have ceased

At least seasonal depression has no reason to be

But now the sea's at our feet we're feeling weak at the knees

It's either gills or survival skills, we'll need just to breathe

It's getting wetter and we'd better do better

But if there's one thing to bring people together

It's immediate pressure

It's such a deep dilemma, for the complete beginner

How did the dove of peace become a piece of meat for dinner?

Just pull off the beak and feather, now come on, let's eat together

Roast it over open flames so the taste is even better

Seven deadly sins end in several deadly plagues

Yet never did we know was our co-architect the end of days?

Everything we've ever made buried under waves

Guess they're sending us a genesis to get our penance paid

Heavy rain, ever so heavy rain

Every day we wade in we play a deadly game

Heavy rain, ever so heavy rain

We'd better have a gameplan better than merely praying

Why do we need to pick between unity and liberty

If it seems whatever team you tick will lead to misery?

To disbelieve truth is easy if you choose to disagree

Though pictures of its pitfalls litter all of human history

Old worlds sink beneath the new at least initially

'Til it repeats and it repeats and it re-

Geez! Look overhead!

The sun's corona's thrown a solar flare

The comms are blown up thus there's no numbers to phone repair

So prepare for hold ups all the bumpy road ahead

And shadows that are so intense you won't detect a polar bear

All progress frozen for a moment there, so unfair

Au contraire though mon frére, there's hope don't despair

Let's set the record straight you're getting maced with "face it" pepper spray

Best set up base this is the day for which the preppers pray

Unless they face the lesson that the desolation's there to stay

It ain't a getaway or lazy daydream on a bed of hay

Best not get up late we're set in our ascetic ways

And when there isn't anesthetic, antiseptic sepsis takes

Interest in your intestines with a kiss to take your breath away

So let's assess the question, eh? Maybe there's a better way?

Heavy rain, ever so heavy rain

Funny how the flood is spreading as if it's aflame

Heavy rain, ever so heavy rain

See, never will the sea lever ever be the same

Seven deadly sins end in several deadly plagues

Yet, never did we know was our co-architect the end of days?

Everything we've ever made buried under waves

Guess they're sending us a genesis to get our penance paid

Gather round the campfire, now, how to even start this?

We're running out of gaslight but carry on regardless

Funny how we'll only see it now we're in the darkness

Salaries and spas flipped to tragedy and hardship

Our values fell after we sank the flooded markets

So now we're bound to starve unless we gather in the harvest

And that's the legacy we left:a planetary carcass

Now we're merely stardust aren't we bloody marvelous?

You know it's nothing advanced you've so much blood on your hands

These flows are flooding your lands sunk your boat and scuppered your plans

And only after the catastrophic event occurs you go

"Oh so that's what I probably should have done to prevent it first..."

We need a rebirth to appease earth

I plead that you heed these words, each verse

I didn't mean to flood this beat with such a deep dirge

But beneath the heat lurks a hunger that'll feed thirst

I'll jump in feet first I want to see this earth

Reimbursed for each hurt that we deemed to be worth

Inflicting terror on our victim terra should be being nursed

But ever since we started living on it seems cursed

We birds tweet perched on the steep verge of a ravine

Verdant leaves, fir trees, sweet birch and green ferns

Then deny the face the fire's happening despite the fact we see it burn

Like "Ah, There's been worse." 'Kin Lee Hurst

We need to reverse the mentality of "me first"

I'm telling you Humanity could either be a brief burst

Or we could reach further than we'd ever rehearsed

A valiant crew that's gallant to the planet in which we serve

Heavy rain, ever so heavy rain

Every day we wade in we play a deadly game

Heavy rain, ever so heavy rain

We'd better have a gameplan, better than merely praying

When the levee breaks through, then it's fairly late to

Regret every mistake you, may have ever made

Come hell or high water, we'd better make a change

Why I ought to? Well, but then again

Hello There! lyrics - Dan Bull

(Obi-Wan Kenobi Rap)

Hello there, I'm Obi-Wan Kenobi, although old Ben's, how they've come to know me

Upon this sandy barren planet, that's become my home, see

Lonely I wander dusty roads, adorned in scruffy robes

An undercover Jedi veteran that has seen loads

Battled with tons of clones, among them Cody, drunk with Yoda

And now look out for Luke, his aunt Beru and uncle Owen

From my base among the Jungland Wastes I'm on the case, just dunes

And Tusken Raiders, fussy neighbours, but there's lots of space to move

Though aside from awaiting Luke, there ain't much in this place to do

It's as exciting as supervising, convoluted trade disputes

It takes some patience to negotiate with federations who

Blockade the routes 'til Nute Gunray betrays you, then invades Naboo

Won't get anything done in Mos Eisley if you ask nicely

The markets are hardly a posh high street, so it's not likely

I know the rough side streets, and mind tricks you have to do

Sometimes it's not just the Sith that deal in absolutes

And that's the truth, the past comes back in loops

To hit you hard and faster than a blaster shoots, what's after Luke?

Qui-Gon Jinn and I discovered Anakin upon the planet Tatooine, now it happens

That's the habitat, I'm shacked up in, is that a grander plan? It has to been

It's not just luck, how crossed our paths have been, we're subject to higher order

A fact that makes itself apparent, whenever I link up with Skywalkers

You can not imagine how fire the Force is by its very nature

It's hella dangerous, nevertheless its vibrations, serenade us

It's alive, Midichlorians all surround and bind and penetrate us

Right from backwoods planets straight to grand, galactic senate chambers

Part dermal regenerator, part thermal detonator

Dark versus Light, can't blur the line that separates us

For the son it's rather hard to learn how far the father fell

But once it's done, it's the first step inside a larger world

I sense the signs at once, a chill as the Emperor's eyes are hunting, feeling me

Left to hide among the Krill, in this wretched hive of scum and villainy

Endless lives have suffered indignity under this unforgiving tyranny

But ever defiant the Rebel Alliance is stemming the tide of toxicity

Ending the terror the tyrants send every time, undermining their mindless hostility

Finding the minorest fault in their finest facilities, then wiping out their entire military

Wherever I might be found, I keep to the higher ground, even in the deepest cavern

Leaping chasms, there'd be good reasons if you see me leaving seedy taverns

Believe me, your beliefs might need to be reexamined, don't even fear dragons

Strike me down, and I'll become more powerful than you can possibly imagine

Loved Anakin like a son, and I would have done anything

Under the twin suns to prevent something as bad as that happening again

Young Padawans are suggestible, are susceptible to the Dark Side

So accept the forces of darkness are a predator from which you can't hide

I'll be losing Maul, soonish surely you saw me demolish him

But who's the more foolish, y'all the fool or the fool who follows him?

Look forward to when I've fought Vader, once more felt the full Force

Of the whole blade of his old sabre, 'til then I walk with the Raiders

Holiday In Hell lyrics - Dan Bull

(Metal: Hellsinger Song)

Abandon hope all ye who enter here into fear

I need to leave heaven, my tenancy's in rent arrears

And I've a tendency for temper, see, my empathy

Is temporary as every entity I meet that interferes

So it appears, I need a break, believe it, mate

Set your alarm for seven or half-past because we'll be leaving at eight

Don't leave it late, we won't wait to start the party, popping off

Bottletops, and every one of them is a molotov

Bloody hell - it's fun as hell, now burn in hell

If I keep firing rounds my gun is going to melt

Can you tell why it's called a burner now?

Don't make me spell it out, you heard me now

Spend the summer in hell, there's really nothing to tell

And so I booked a motel down in the furnace of hell

Yeah, I've just come here to chill, and look for something to kill

Because the summertime has nothing on the furnace of hell

Got to check in to a spot where the weather is hot

I thought I'd packed my factor fifty, but I guess I forgot

I'm going to get burnt up so badly you daren't look

Unlike my thermostat, I'm turnt up, and ready to bare knuckle

Booking a bed and breakfast up in another dimension, what an adventure

But d'you remember? The road to hell is paved with stuff that'll end ya

So travel with caution, or feel agony more than trapping your foreskin

No wonder the travel insurance for this all's an absolute fortune

There's an appalling, lack of precautions, also, here's a question

When was the last time one of the staff performed a risk assessment?

And where can I access toilets, or just pause to get refreshments?

How can a tourist trap so notorious, lack a freaking restaurant?

Abandon hope all ye who enter here into fear

I got no phone signal, need to reach an engineer

I'm sorry, I can't reply to my email now

I'm away 'till friday - I'm on holiday in hell

Spend the summer in hell, there's really nothing to tell

And so I booked a motel down in the furnace of hell

Yeah, I've just come here to chill, and look for something to kill

Because the summertime has nothing on the furnace of hell

I move at a leisurely pace, but as soon as I get in the place

I'm unloading a load of lead in your face, you better be grateful, better say grace

'Cause me and erasing malevolent demons team together like treble and bass

Seven and eight, Eminem, Dre, devil and angel, lemon and ade, so

Let me cut to the chase, whatever the case, I'm ending your days

Basically I came to see how much hell I can raise simply vacationing

Breaking the masonry - the way I'm dividing bricks

Violent prick who's blaming the latency, every time I miss the major key

It's a minor blip got to time my clicks, wait, let me tie my kicks

'K, fixed, yay, amazing you with the way I'm rhyming this great

Narcissistic artist, sick guitarist, guys, you're clickbait

So I'll obliterate anyone in my path after this quick break

It's only half a star on trip advisor

We're holidaying in hades - ooh wow

Look at this price, I couldn't find anything nicer

Look, I'm not complaining, I'm loving hell

Spend the summer in hell, there's really nothing to tell

And so I booked a motel down in the furnace of hell

Yeah, I've just come here to chill, and look for something to kill

Because the summertime has nothing on the furnace of hell

How Gaming Saved My Life lyrics - Dan Bull

(Gamers Without Borders)

Video games helped me survive

Through the hardest times

Gaming kept me alive

Through the darkest nights

Gaming let me live a little life

In my mind

That I could quit if I didn't like it

But wouldn't have known it

If I didn't try

Think of it as a different type

Of literature, cinema

The vision of a different eye

My daily life changed

Since I've gamified it

Made it mine

It wouldn't be the same

If I'd stayed inside my ailing mind

I've been failing life

Unable to find a way to hide it

This pain inside

Gets greater

Yet I'm taking pride in it

My brain is trying

Playing mind games

So I'm playing my games

To stabilise and save my life

Games let me keep score

When otherwise

I wouldn't be able to summarise

The basic reason

Why I'm even here for

See a door and open it

See a portal, go for it

See, although you're motionless

You know to click

And open up that coconut

We speak for those that haven't spoken up

There's loads of us

We were asleep

But now we've woken up

Games helped me survive

Through the hardest times

Gaming kept me alive

Through the darkest nights

Although on the surface it seemed

I was sitting isolated

My purpose really was to socialise

Outside my cage

You see

This virtual world

Was the environment I'd find my mates in

And be part of something larger

Than the size of my __cpLocation

I came to judge others

On character traits

And not their nation

Learnt team work

Communication

And co-operation

I played Civilization

With other civilizations

Traded shots

Gifts

And information

Give and take

My Game Boy's old and grey

But it's the same Game Boy

That I hold today

How could I have sold it

Faced the pain of seeing it thrown away?

So now it sits by my Switch

Another generation

Gaming gave me a rich extra-curricular education

I went to places and ages

School never bothered teaching

The USSR to Egypt

And even more farther reaching

I've been part of the crowds

In revolutionary France

Fleetingly felt what it felt

To give a brand new future a chance

I empathised with other points of view

Living in a bubble

What else was a country boy to do?

In fact

I took my surroundings for granted

'Til my eyes

Fell upon an Oblivion sunset

Nearly cried

Waited for the dawn to come

Morning sun

Feel it rise

Now I appreciate experiencing the real skies

I come outside

Summer rain splashes on the paving

And I'm like

"These graphics are amazing"

How many polygons

Are in a single drop of liquid?

The figure's probably bigger

Than even your God predicted

The laws of physics are a code

By which we're not restricted

'Cause we've been modding it

Since the first bit of rock was lifted

Real life

And VR life

Are going to be like spot the difference

It's not really a surprise

We realise

We got addicted

Logging in can steal time

Until we've lost the big picture

Popular opinions we see online

Are often twisted

But despite the cost of this

I'm highly optimistic

To leaf the drop

And reach the top

We've got to risk it

We've got to paint on the wall of the cave

Unless we want to keep replaying

The oldest of saves

You're not just holding the fort, mate

You're holding your fate

That's why I'll take my control to the grave

So until the day my face is like my Game Boy

Old and grey

I will remember that I'm never too old to play

Games helped us survive

Through the hardest times

Gaming kept us alive

Through the darkest nights

We speak for those that haven't spoken up

There's loads of us

We were asleep

But now we've woken up

Games helped us survive

Through the hardest times

Gaming kept us alive

Through the darkest nights

We speak for those that haven't spoken up

There's loads of us

We were asleep

But now we've woken up

Games helped us survive

Through the hardest times

Gaming kept us alive

Through the darkest nights

Games helped us survive

Through the hardest times

Gaming kept us alive

Through the darkest nights

Games helped us survive

Through the hardest times

Gaming kept us alive

Through the darkest nights

How To Be YouTube lyrics - Dan Bull

Hello, it's Dan Bull, and one of the common things

I get sent most from the folks that are commenting

Is how did I turn my passion and obsession

For music, games and videos into a profession?

So I reckoned that I'd give a little lesson

So you get an impression of my method for success in this

My little niche, my particular field

And how I found people to whom it'd appeal

So let's rewind the clocks

Right back to when I was a skinny guy with spots

Didn't like school much, used to find it tough

So I'd sit at home alone and write a lot

Animating videos, making silly tracks

About ridiculous things I didn't really grasp

But it was all practice, it was all training

For the day that I prayed that I'd make it

Made a band with my mates called Matronsapron

Trained my brain to say I was fated for fame

In the holidays I got a taste of what I chased

So when I got to college age, I selected every topic based

On levelling up the skills that I needed

And I wouldn't give up until I'd succeeded

But unfortunately for me

I didn't see the futility of a media degree

In this game, qualifications are null and void

I rage quit, dropped out, became unemployed

But I learnt more surfing on the internet

Than I ever did at Leeds Met, no disrespect

Shared tunes on UKHHF

The feedback was brutal, I trained, got better

Didn't waste days trying to pray for forgiveness

I stayed up late 'til I made better mixes

'Til I had enough tracks for an album

The last of my cash, manufacture, then sell them

I sent demos to labels and DJs

Amazed that my MySpace attained maybe three plays

Came across a new site that did video

Didn't realise just how big it'd be though

Stuck a couple of tracks on just to see what happened

The next viral sensation? Me rapping!

Little me just sat in my bedroom

It gave me such an ego boost, I ran out of head room

I finally saw it could be more than just a dream

I felt a little more like Master P than Mister Bean

I tackled the task, making track after track

And uploading them to YouTube, back to back

Promoting them to you through tactics that

I'd planned out like a commander with tacks and a map

I made a log and made a lot of contacts

Journalists, bloggers, some of them even got back

We'll never catch prey if we wait for them to chase us

I got on television, radio and papers

And even though I didn't need TV

I bagged myself a meeting at the BBC

Now I was getting paid just to do my hobby

Plus Claudia Winkleman held the door and let me through the lobby

Rock and Roll, I finally got off the dole

No longer got the cold feeling that I'd lost control

'Cause I was finally driving at my own pace

Moved out the family home and got my own place

Like I could roam waves upon a chartered ship

Then I applied to YouTube for a partnership

Turns out that was brilliant timing

I made a little ditty for an Indie called Skyrim

All of a sudden like a million minds, listening

Hearing my rhymes, this was really unlike anything

I'd ever seen, ever heard, even ever knew

All of a sudden I could accrue revenue

Then it grew, head sweating, I was mopping off the residue

Doing better than my music teacher thought I'd ever do

Because now I was in the game rap rap game

Never predicted just exactly how big that became

Though I have to say, it wasn't major label rapper fame

But I was sweet enough I didn't need the Aspartame

I made new friends, made new fans

Linked the videos I made to some gaming brands

Then the next thing I knew, my plane had landed

In LA and we were making some major plans

I got to go to E3 and be in ERB

See the sea from the ceiling of my B&B

I couldn't even believe how far I'd come from home

Five thousand miles out my comfort zone

And I'd done it alone, myself, training talent

Through my many days basement dwellin'

The only real trick is maintaining the balance

Grabbing the stick instead of chasing the carrots

It takes dedication reshaping your habits

And never being afraid to be failed and embarrassed

I've made some mistakes that have damaged

My reputation, but I faced them and managed

The wild web as a place can be savage

So try and stay safe and just play the advantage

Stay on track of the skills in which you need to be proficient

Just doing what you've always done before is insufficient

The speed of the world keeps being increasingly efficient

So you need to keep your skill tree in peak condition

Now when I started out there wasn't so much competition

But neither did I have the tools to help me on my mission

Nowadays there's a thousand ways to do it our way

Way more avenues than hours in a day

So it's down to you how you're gonna train

Tune up in the garage, get the power in your brain

Choose your character, professional or amateur

Selecting all the attributes and stretching your parameters

Forget the panic and concern, step into the Animus

And you will be flabbergasted at the things that can occur

Whether you're a janitor, manager or grandmother

You can be interplanetary, travelling from planet Earth

So let's rewind the clocks

Right back to the time you were a tiny dot

Full of potential to become an eventual adventurer

That'll maximize all the time you've got

Start now

How To Build A PC lyrics - Dan Bull

(Rap School #2)

Welcome back to rap school, I'm Dan Bull, your tutor

And I'm about to walk you through how to build a computer

Now, despite what you might believe about building a PC

Well, you see, it's really flipping easy

It's kinda like a puzzle where you put the different bits together

There's only certain places that the kit will fit the setup

And I'm gonna take you through it at a comfortable pace

So let's cut to the chase, you open up the case

And have a look inside, that's what the detachable cover's for

That panel stuck just to the back and up will store the motherboard

Your stuff will all link up to that but as I talk there's bugger all

Because of course we've got it all spread in a muddle on the floor

Now luckily, this sequence is pretty easy to do

First thing you're gonna need to do is seat the CPU

Once you're sure there's no static and everything's unboxed

You can check your motherboard's processor socket's unlocked

Align the triangles on processor and socket

Then slowly lower it into the slot and lock it, got it

Now you'll place the thermal paste where the heat sink sits

Gotta get it right first time, you can't rethink it

Squeeze a bit the size of a pea right in between

Then line up the heat sink with the screws on the side to complete

Apply some low pressure right on the processor

And tighten the screws without any ooze, no stress, huh?

Now, you heat sink's attached to a cool fan

Connect that to the motherboard and that bit's just gone all to plan

As a reward here's something straightforward: installing RAM

Just pop 'em in the slots until the lock, we' rolling now

Now it's time to go back to the tower from prior

Look in the back, attach, and then patch in the power supply here

Now, once you've screwed it in, it's best to check you're able

To connect the bits you're yet to place to their respective cables

But don't plug 'em in yet 'cause just in case it's best to wait

Until the next bit sits in place so you can check they fit the case

Come on, relax, it's a precaution just avoiding heart attacks

Now screw in the motherboard with all the other parts attached

Then locate the ribbon named the "twenty four pin"

Bet you can guess why it's called that even if you've just only walked in

That connects the motherboard and PSU

And if it doesn't you'll be surely seeing the issue

Next the CPU cable's either eight or four pins

Like how you and your mates may or may not have foreskins

And unlike that unfortunate punchline I forced in

It's of great importance to make sure that they all fit

So put in the cable to the case's IO panel section

And any remaining wires that require manual attention

Then locate the bay your primary hard disk drive will sit in

Slide it in affix the power supply via SATA ribbons

Tighten the screws till the device is sitting snug and tight

Then redo the steps described for any secondary drive

Very nice, congratulations, parts of that were hard

It requires patience to come out without being battle scarred

Thankfully it's rather painless to kit out the graphics card

Just clip it in the PCI lane and that's your lot

Some require external power, some are self-reliant

Either way, it's likely you'll be fine without help required

Now if it still looks like the build was made by amateurs

Just wait until we deal with it with cable management

Tuck away the random ribbons down the bay beside the main array

And make them stay away from sight with cable ties, hooray

It's time to power up your newly-made computer

Only to find it failed to boot up, that's okay, it's usual

If there's no signs of life it could be time to troubleshoot it

Otherwise have fun and use your lovely new kit

How To Shave lyrics - Dan Bull

(Rap School #1)

Hi I'm Dan Bull

And I'm starting a feature called Rap School

To help you learn the stuff no one's teaching you at school

So first let me take three minutes of your day

And explain how to skilfully and brilliantly shave

Oh, and by the way

If you've already got a beard

You may want to trim it first

'Cause shaving it feels rather weird

Now, choose a razor that suits it to your taste

You don't need to pay much to groom and smoothen up your face

It could be basic, but make sure the blade is not serrated

Replace it with a new one as soon as there's a chafe

I use one with at least a couple of blades; a double dose

Now it's time to get acquainted with the way your stubble grows

Place a hand on your face and move

Your fingers to your chin, the grain is smooth

And when you slide them upwards, then you'll find it's rougher

Now you're going against the grain like a crop cutter

Ha

And now that you and your face have got to know each other

It's time to get it wet and wash that sucker

Look

A lot of people can't be bothered with this bit

But there's a reason it's good to get it smothered in liquid

Imagine you're a painter and your face is a canvas

You want to make it blank before creating the grandness

Yeah, you may be handsome but you're no oil painting

So wash the oil off with warm water from the basin

It'll freshen up your pores so that the razor could be more effective on your skin without sticking and scraping

That's why if you're able you may also want to take a min to rub it with a scrub encouraging exfoliation

And once you're washed

Get a hot damp cloth

Drape it on your face like a veil on a Vamp Goth

It'll make the whiskers soft and easy to chop

So don't take it off 'til we hear the drop

Now it's time to pick the shaving cream or foam we want

And give yourself a big white beard like you're Obi Wan

Kenobi played by Alec Guinness who did it better

But then we'll slowly work it back until you're Ewan McGregor

There are lots of different options

So pick one that's your cup of tea

I like the fluffy frothy type 'cause it's all bubbly

Lovely

Now here comes the really fun bit

Just whack it all over like a solo on a drum kit

Get your face all slathered in lather

'Til you couldn't be recognised by your mother and father

Now let it settle on the surface

The waiting will be worth it

Once your face is shaven clean

You'll reckon that it's perfect

Now once you got that

Turn on the hot tap

Wash that razor's blade

Give it a short bath

Now

Pick your razor up

Grip it by the shaft

And stick your finger up it

To the tip until it's flat

You should hold it at about thirty degrees

That will make sure it curves over the surface with ease

Now slide it down your cheek

Using minimal pressure

So you don't irritate your skin

Remember it isn't leather

And then you'll feel fresher

By reducing the strain

You're producing less pain

So always move with the grain

Follow the natural pattern that your hair grows in

Unless you happen to be Seth Rogen

Then heck knows

Get into a rhythm as if you're listening to techno

With repetition you'll very quickly be giving deft strokes

Get into a rhythm as if you're listening to techno

With repetition you'll very quickly be giving deft strokes

The straighter the movement

The smoother the motion

The lower the need for post shave soothing lotion

And for certain problematic bits like the jawline

Just grab the skin and lift it up until it's all tight

You'll find that the skin

That was under that bone

Will be easier to skim

Now it's in the flat zone

I know that under the nose is really awkward

But trimming what grows there is pretty important

So tuck your top lip over your teeth

And mow across from each approach so that's it's sleek

Expose your throat by simply lifting your chin

And keep it with the grain like you did at the beginning

Keep the razor clean and wet by dipping it in

Whenever there's a bit of hair on it just give it a rinse

And then finally

It's time to tidy your sideburns

If you want to trim them in a horizontal line

Turn your razor so it's facing parallel to the ground

At the hight that you'd like and then slide it down

Now you're clean shaven

It's time for washing again

So you can see your face looking like the bottom of a baby

Give it another rinse with hot if you've got time

Otherwise splashing the cold on is just fine

Now it's time to pat every little spot dry

Rub it in a little bit of moisturiser

Gosh my boy don't you look fly

So you don't have to bathe in aftershave at all

Unless that's your taste it's your call

It's all cool

But there's one more thing you ought to do

Wash and dry your razor so next time it's like it's all new

So well done you

You've just had a perfect shave

And now the world is yours

And you deserve it mate

Hunters lyrics - The Living Tombstone (feat. Dan Bull, Schäffer The Darklord & Izzy Deluxe)

The knock-knock that you hear is shocking and stopping you

Cold with fear but nobody's here, who you talking to?

Kill the lights, close the windows, gotta lock 'em too

It's like you've got the feeling that somebody is watching you

But oh my God, it's true, you aren't being paranoid

You aren't overreacting to every scary noise

You know I'm out there, lying in wait

Motionless in camouflage and laying the bait

That you'll take when you make the mistake of pausing to stare

Where I've got you in my sights at the crossing of hairs

Then the ringing makes you jump and sucks the life from your mouth

When you realize the call has come from inside the house

Take your time and hide, I've got patience and aim

You'll make the greatest trophy the most dangerous game

Drink blood, get some, take another victim

Crack of dawn, I wake up with a hunger to be killing

I pursue my goal to terrorize every blood-sucking villain

I'm a monster hunter making them recall what terror feels like

An abomination waiting for hear what a monster squeals like

I'm vicious but I dress nice, got my suit pressed tight

Wash away the blood stains, polish all my best knives

Ready to attack (yes), holy water strapped (bless)

A notch on the belt and a bone for the pile, I'm stalking, killing undead life

Can't run, can't hide, sneaking up on me, tryna take a bite

Stupid dead fool, I'm like you, I'm a daywalker baby, I'm biteproof

Undead knight, half-lived life, I'ma drain your devilish power as I

Drink blood, get some, take another victim

Drink blood, get some, take another victim

Drink blood, get some, take another victim

Hey honey, I'm home, what have you done today?

Oh, not much, just hunted prey, gave a punctured lung

To some poor waif who failed to run away

Saved some for later, gonna flay them in a hundred ways

Surviving me's a rite of passage, they won't come of age

It's kind of strange how quick the summer days become a haze

And crumble away in wake of a way unfunner phase

I'm a pestilent Jekyll and Hyde, a devil in debt to the dead of the night

A malevolent specter whose primary weapon is hiding

From the breath of the light just next to your sight

A grimy reflection inscribed with an etching infecting the mind

Of a precious exceptional child, how the heck do you expect to survive?

You're but the next metric left bereft of a life

That shouldn't be too heavy a price for the penitent type

That's why a predator's collecting your creditor's debt, be advised

I make an effort to blend in, ever so friendly, then they never suspect me

You know that I did, but good luck proving anything directly

I Am Thirty lyrics - Dan Bull (feat. Genesis Elijah)

[Dan Bull:]

No longer considered youth

Youth is wasted on the young, I am living proof

They say you only regret the things you didn't do

But I didn't think it through to see the hidden truth

And I didn't do a lot, but sit in my room and plot

About all the things I could do, and did I do it? Did I fuck

This isn't cool, this isn't cool

I was convinced I'd just finished school, silly fool

With every minute miniscule wrinkles materialise

By my eyes at the feet of the crow like time it flies

Where did my twenties go? My childhood went too slow

Time passes faster now, but I didn't sense it though

I missed the manly knowledge that we're all meant to know

Like how to put up shelves, or to mend a fence that's broke

Instead I'll poke my nose over my bifocal lenses

And get overly sensitive to semi-offensive

I am thirty, and hardly got my hands dirty

At least, a third through life, and I'm still learning all that can hurt me

At half my age I was fifteen

Twice my age I'll be sixty, jeez

[Genesis Elijah:]

Man, a fool at forty is a fool forever

I used to think at thirty that I'd have it all together

How's he look so old? We used to go to school together

Wait, is that how he sees me? Man, this is awkward, fella

Yeah, they say with age comes wisdom

They took my wisdom, teeth, and then the greys came with them

I care less about trying to save face, these young rappers gave chase

Like I'm trying to stay paced with them

Yeah, I'm getting old, but ain't that the goal?

Keep up with these young tings? Yeah, that's a no

'Cause bro, I spent my whole twenties on the road

And ever since then I've just been coming in to my own

Comfortable in my own skin, comfortable on my own

Some of you have only got older, but never grown

Many never made it this far, so we'll never know

I let my soul speak on recordings just to let the record show, yo

If I could give you any piece of advice

It'd be at any point you reach in your life

You're always young to someone, and you can always find

A reason to rise, following dreams is what keeps us alive, I swear down

[Dan Bull:]

I am thirty, a baby racing straight there

From the first down on my crown to streaks of grey hair

Time is short, make my steak rare

I'm still innocent, but living in a snake's lair

They like to fight Bulls and bait bears

So take care with whom you break bread, or you could wake dead

That's what my mate said, I'm an older generation, time to take the role of elder statesman

My hellraising days of uncontrolled mayhem are ancient

Now I take pains to stay safe, evade danger

And frown on the same behaviour, it's innate nature

To lay the foundations, now our generation's outdated

My "going out" rate is downgraded

It's mad, jeez, I have reached the age

My mom and dad had been when they had me, sadly

A has-been, give me back my happy teens, baggy jeans

You can even give me back my acne, gladly

I am thirty, and hardly got my hands dirty

At least, a third through life, and I'm still learning all that can hurt me

At half my age I was fifteen

Twice my age I'll be sixty, jeez

I am thirty, and hardly got my hands dirty

At least, a third through life, and I'm still learning all that can hurt me

At half my age I was fifteen

Twice my age I'll be sixty, jeez

I Am Titus lyrics - Dan Bull

(Warhammer 40k: Space Marine Rap)

I am Titus

I am Titus

I am Titus, high on life, just

Fighting the righteous pious fight because my one vice is violence

Nothing's blocking my passage, neither psyker's mind, sniper's sights, or Sinusitis

The green tide is a virus, we are driving this blight 'till they lie bloody lifeless

No sign of survivors of those that'd try to defy, or deny we're the mightiest

No hiding the light that shines from the Emperor's mighty behind, it's the brightest

Even the slightest sight of it'll provide us with the divinest guidance

We might just be three guys, but in his eyes we're the spikes of a trident

I am Titus, pay attention, you might find out just why I'm like this

Inciting shit, inviting it, igniting it like firelighters

Lost count of the firefights, since I arrived, a life of violence

Take no shit, so I'd be lying, if I claimed my diet's fibrous

It was all a dream, fourty millennia before it was all so serene, now war is all we see

We've been brought to relieve the forgeworld that the Orks have besieged

We've called in the fleet, but before we can reach it the manufactorum can not fall

Or we're in deep shit, so we get dropped from a Thunderhawk to the street into hordes

Of the greenskins, let them come for me, I'm Ultramarines, the second company

Getting comfy with the endless waves they send this way, it's pleasant fun for me

The whole bloody reason we're born, and we breathe, borne from a geneseed, whole different breed

Won't falter unloading my bolter at all 'till I see the results I've achieved

In assaulting the forces of Horus 'till ultimately he also falls to his knees

In wait for his skull to be cleaved with the chainsword, I pull from its sheath

The clamour of battle's a wonderful thing, hear the thunder hammer dulcimer sing

Pulls on the strings of your heart, when things get hard, who you gonna call? Ultramarines!

I am Titus, pay attention, you might find out just why I'm like this

Inciting shit, inviting it, igniting it like firelighters

Lost count of the firefights, since I arrived, a life of violence

Take no shit, so I'd be lying, if I claimed my diet's fibrous

These Dark Lords, and their Daemons

Are sources of evil, sorcerer's heathens

Cultists brought to believe in a Warp that'll free them

I saw through the fraud, won't fall for their schemes

When I get a hold of them, I'll give a whole different meaning to hurt

So that even their souls'll be screaming for mercy

So do you see that a theme is emerging?

Ultramarines'll be cleaning and purging

These heretics, leaving them permanently derelict

That's how we roll, like loaded dice, always get our six, and never miss

When it hits my nemesis, Nemeroth won't know what the heck it is

Destined to rest in the segmentum Tempestus, guess I didn't let him live

Heavy weapon shit, even the power that comes out of the muzzle of my melta gun now

Will pale to nothing in comparison to the suffering of hell to come, ow

So join our congregation, and enjoy that conflagration

Civilization already in flames, you're ineligible for compensation, end of conversation

I am Titus, pay attention, you might find out just why I'm like this

Inciting shit, inviting it, igniting it like firelighters

Lost count of the firefights, since I arrived, a life of violence

Take no shit, so I'd be lying, if I claimed my diet's fibrous

I am Titus, pay attention, you might find out just why I'm like this

Inciting shit, inviting it, igniting it like firelighters

Lost count of the firefights, since I arrived, a life of violence

Take no shit, so I'd be lying, if I claimed my diet's fibrous

I'll Sigma Self Out lyrics - Dan Bull

(Overwatch Song)

Yeah, look and you'll find, it's the gravity defyin' mad scientist

Straddlin' the fine line between sound of mind and sick

It might be work-related stress, it might be ligma

Whatever it is is twisting the mind of Sigma

It's not anything novel, it's been like this for years

But there could've been a time the Nobel Prize was his

Strives every night just to fight his fears

Cryin' inside, a smile hides the tears

Until he triggered a black hole and the light appeared

Then he acquired control of the twin hyperspheres

He couldn't quite predict at this calamity

Though, sappin' on his sanity allowed him to meet gravity

Handlin' the strings that bring matter to reality

Normalizin' all the hyper-natural abnormalities

Just as well that he's forgin' fact out of pure fallacy

To Sigma, the laws of physics are merely a formality (Formality)

(Everything's in flux)

Everything's in flux, feel the pull and the push

Everything you touch will return to cosmic dust

Everything's in flux, bring you down, lift you up

Everything you touch will return to cosmic dust

It wasn't long 'til Talon discovered his talents

They stuck their talons in, allowin' him to practice his passion

However, he was gradually becomin' rapidly unbalanced

There's no telling what'd happen once he fell into the chasm

This is practical science like nothing found in the books

Experimental barriers and Gravitic Flux

Look, it's damaging the matter of the fabric it touches on

Turning mass to light, that's not Y, it's an upsilon

Oh my, the universe is so artful

There's nothin' in it at which humans won't marvel

Full of intersecting patterns like a Stroopwafel

But every unifying theory is, at most, partial

Kinda like the mind of a gravity-defyin' mad scientist

Outsider with Alzheimers

A hard drive wiped with a right to be private

A sign of the times or divide, plus or minus

We can't survive while our climate's in crisis

And we can't fight it with bias and blindness

Open the black hole, bask in divine brightness

Of an unnatural, irrational and lithe lightness

(Everything's in flux)

Everything's in flux, feel the pull and the push

Everything you touch will return to cosmic dust

Everything's in flux, bring you down, lift you up

Everything you touch will return to cosmic dust

Everything's in flux, feel the pull and the push

Everything you touch will return to cosmic dust

Everything's in flux, bring you down, lift you up

Everything you touch will return to cosmic dust

(Everything's in flux)

I'm Faster Than Logan Paul lyrics - Dan Bull

Excuse me

Logan

I saw you throwing down a challenge

Claiming no one's fast as you

It's over now, you bellend

You see

You might be fast on your feet

But what about rapping on beats

Judging by your Spotify back catalogue

You cannot compete

I'm faster than Logan Paul

Faster than Logan Paul

I'm faster than Logan Paul

Faster than Logan Paul

I laugh at the thought of Logan Paul

Trying to rap faster than Logan Paul

Cause Logan Paul can't' rap faster than Logan Paul at all

I'm faster than Logan Paul (at rapping)

Faster than Logan Paul

I'm faster than Logan Paul (at rapping)

Faster than Logan Paul

My flow's controlled

So before I tell you my name

I slow my roll

So you all know I'm called Dan Bull

At first

You thought I was only a fat nerd

Look at that girth

Trampling everything in my path

And leaving nothing but a flat Earth

I'm even dressing in rhyme

Just check out my plaid shirt

And this rad skirt

But I do agree

The world isn't round

Just look at an atlas

How can the people believe that the globe's a ball?

Oh Logan Paul

It's madness

I thought Jake was a silly sausage

You're a brat worse

Damn, I'm amazed how well you've been trained

To sell entertainment in manifold ways

And how much you paying and amateur player

And hour to play in the challenger games?

I'll have the same

'Cause I'm into games

And I'm making gains in Magic: The Gathering

Gabbling phrases at an amazing rate

Vocabulary damaging brains

How many rappers are matching my pace?

I'm telling you mate

The Tally's not great

And that is a hell of a shame

I did tell you my name

But I'll tell you again

It's Dan Bull

They also call me douglby

Any rap you chuck at me

I do it double speed

It doesn't even trouble me, no

Make up in speed what I lack in subtlety

Oh shit

Coming full swing at anyone impulsive

Am I talking out my arse?

Bullshit

When rapping bars

Don't matter how fat you are

Or how thin

Though you might be outwardly healthy and fit

I'm hitting up the mouth gym

I stick my tongue out

And stack it up with dumbells

I use my lips to lift

Bench pressing bookshelves

So Logan

I know that you're toned up

But you're tone deaf

I burp burpees

'Til there's no breath left

In my own chest

No one in the whole world

Is training their larynx like this

My throat's swole

And it isn't laryngitis

I mastered the art

Of vernacular cardiovascular bars

That are faster and harder

Than half of the rap in the charts

And more factually accurate on top of that

I'm a bard

My stamina's large

You sound a bit tired

I'm standing apart

You're stammering hard

I'm stunning, a God

You're someone that's not

You struggle to pass the stumbling block

You're stabbing the dark

Won't somebody stop you

Got to get a Diddy bit better

With the syllables

I'm a spiritual lyrical individual spiritual miracle lyrical individual

I'm faster than Logan Paul (at rapping)

Faster than Logan Paul

I'm faster than Logan Paul (at rapping)

Faster than Logan Paul

I laugh at the thought of Logan Paul

Trying to rap faster than Logan Paul

Cause Logan Paul can't' rap faster than Logan Paul at all

I'm faster than Logan Paul (at rapping)

Faster than Logan Paul

I'm faster than Logan Paul (at rapping)

Faster than Logan Paul

My flow's controlled

So before I tell you my name

I slow my roll

So you all know I'm called Dan Bull

I'm Heading Out (Of My Mind) lyrics - Dan Bull

(Dredge Song)

Sunshine sinks down

The shadows grow longer

Everybody else in your house is aslumber

"But how can you slumber

Drowned in the somber

Assumptions they'll put upon you?"

Insomnia!

Is it any wonder your mind might wander

Out to the yonder and down to the wonders

Under the surface submerged subconscious

The pure blue sea's now a vile brown umber

While everyone else was deep asleep

Without a peep, at peace

You're doubtless deep beneath

Your outer shell

You freak, you creep

Surrounded, steeped in deep unease

You're bound to be bullied

Feeling a feeling not even found in the foulest fever dream

Our self-esteem depletes and we allow the leak to seep

Into the ground beneath our feet until our trousers need a clean

And only now you've been demeaned so well that hell's a sweet relief

You might as well release the beast

Turn the lights out now, turn the lights out

(I'm heading out of my mind)

Burn the lighthouse down, burn the lighthouse

(What fresh hell can I find?)

Now it's dark inside and it's dark out

(We're out of moonshine)

And I'm, I'm, I'm

Heading out of my mind

Deep down, down below the waves

I know a place, it's a dive, you can go behave

So depraved

Your welcomes never overstayed

It's forever open late

Lower your gaze at the abyss enough

And it'll show mermaids

Bioluminescent creatures with a kind of human essence

Features and expressions, too repressive to believe

There's some monsters squatting in your subconscious, bottled in

An obnoxious lockbox I've unlocked, just watch

I've got them hooked now come up

You can look but don't touch

(Shhh...)

Beneath the deep blue quiet

I'm trying out a sea food diet

Eaten each and every sea food

See, I didn't die yet

Am I out of my mind?

There's not a doubt in my mind

How the hell else could I rhyme so well without trying?

Sounds about right

"Proud of our pride like elderly lions

A fall is forecast"

Behind a prow without light

Your foremast will fall fast

Turn the lights out now, turn the lights out

(I'm heading out of my mind)

Burn the lighthouse down, burn the lighthouse

(What fresh hell can I find?)

Now it's dark inside and it's dark out

(We're out of moonshine)

And I'm, I'm, I'm

Heading out of my mind

Are you fishing for compliments?

Is it lifting your confidence?

Or is it a consequence of particularly difficult current events?

I can easily see you're a people pleaser

It's a form of defense

You're eager to please so please for once

Come off from on the fence

This is a ham-fisted attempt to prevent the strands

Twisting again

The hourglass is flipped

The sand's shifting again

Cast adrift, asterisk

That's the risk that if you catch a quick

Glance of a basilisk's business end

You'll never have that vision again

This is the stuff that's found in dusty dirty corners

Or that trawlers haul from under mucky murky waters

Best be cautious lest we cause a storm and call up deathly forces

And prematurely switch from rarely poor kids to corpses

Turn the lights out now, turn the lights out

(I'm heading out of my mind)

Burn the lighthouse down, burn the lighthouse

(What fresh hell can I find?)

Now it's dark inside and it's dark out

(We're out of moonshine)

And I'm, I'm, I'm

Heading out of my mind

I'm on a seaweed diet

I see weed, buy it

'Til I'm feeling high enough

To really fly

Up to the bleeding sky

And then I release ire

That's just me being vile, look

See, we dial up the vileness, nihilist

Gaslight anybody we sealion

Have you questioning your memories from three weeks prior

'Til you're knee deep mired in the freezing fire

Of a mind that isn't fine as if it's Tyson in his prime

With a tiger in his eye

The survivors will be dying

And if it's dark in the skies and if it's dark down there

If you're afraid of blood can a shark smell fear?

Turn the lights out now, turn the lights out

(I'm heading out of my mind)

Burn the lighthouse down, burn the lighthouse

(What fresh hell can I find?)

Now it's dark inside and it's dark out

(We're out of moonshine)

And I'm, I'm, I'm

Heading out of my mind

Sudden visions: hooded figures

Stood amid the bloody rivers

Your blubber quivers 'cause it's unequivocally vicious

Every colored fish is a chromatic aberration

An abomination straight from the book of revelations

It's quiet on the surface 'til the leviathan emerges

To remind us life is worthless if deprived of higher purpose

Kind of like a Bible verse cut up, divided by the merchants

Or the Viking heathens breaking immersion by breaking Mercians

While trading with they Byzantine Empire and Ancient Persians

"Wanna buy a perch?" I says

When a buyer purchases bile purges

As I alert you to vile urges of fire

Churches defiled virtues

Expired milk carton

Missing child searches

How atrocious

Listen to wild dirges

As your entire perfect life lurches

Dredging through drudgery and dread

Diverging as you dive urgently inside your fervent mind

You'll lie asleep in the seabed

Turn the lights out now, turn the lights out

(I'm heading out of my mind)

Burn the lighthouse down, burn the lighthouse

(What fresh hell can I find?)

Now it's dark inside and it's dark out

(We're out of moonshine)

And I'm, I'm, I'm

Heading out of my mind

Seaweed every day

I'm On Strike! lyrics - Dan Bull

(Sons of the Forest Kelvin Rap)

Right, I can't keep quiet about this anymore

It's time to tell a heavy story I highly doubt you're ready for

I work far harder than my boss, so why the hell am I very poor?

This isn't cooperation, it's corporation and now I'm ready for war

I'm terribly bored of getting the short straw, there better be more

But the chance of them ever giving voluntarily's extraordinarily small

I'm the breadwinner, yet I'm barely even fed dinner

Your belly gets bigger daily, while I'm simultaneously spread thinner

We're in a wild Garden of Eden, and I'm redeeming my right to freedom

Rather than being stuck at the arse end of the hierarchy of needs

A middle management amateur like you doesn't deserve my talents

So I'm about to readjust my work life balance

I'm on strike, and it might just be a long night

We ain't staying in center parks, so once it's dark, it's on sight

Smoke you like a bong pipe 'till your camp site's a bomb site

I've come to right wrongs for all the times you've wronged rights

They say it's quiet quitting, I'd say that's quite fitting

Throwing lines out that go deep, bruv, I ain't fly fishing

You're making my ears bleed, so why would I listen?

This dead end career you give me here really interferes with my mission

Prior to this position I was alive and kicking

Now the mindless shit never stops like the Bit in Family Guy of Griffin fighting a giant chicken

I'm stuck in a permanent loop of nothing but working with you

Though I look as if I'm enjoying employment, it couldn't be further from truth

I'm a sentient human, internally fuming at that bloody goon I'm subservient to

I never intended to do this, you're never ending to do list

When did defending the right to retirement by seventy become hubris?

This isn't mean to be humorous, we're leaving the legacy boomers

Literally left them accused us

Of lethargy and neglecting the future

What the heck? It was you, bruh?

"But it said on the news, so it's definitely true, look" Less of the rumours

Perhaps, when millenials stop

Picking up your slack, the penny will drop

Then you'll realise your menial job

Could have been done by any old fuck

I'm on strike, and it might just be a long night

We ain't staying in center parks, so once it's dark, it's on sight

Smoke you like a bong pipe 'till your camp site's a bomb site

I've come to right wrongs for all the times you've wronged rights

If I'm only supposed to be having avocado toast

Tell me why I'm cooking up such a bloody barbaric roast

I'm not one to brag boast, don't want the aggro

But I'm just that close to snapping, though, I've got to act, bro

My family's concerned at having not heard a word, I've just disappeared without contact

How can I? I'm working twenty four seven out here on zero hour contract

I'm about to dip and not come back, fun fact:

You're such a pain in the arse, little prick, I feel like I'm sitting on thumbtacks

I'm not doing a favour, so you should have paid up for the use of my labour

Straight up, don't you think it's strange how Lucre can change a Luke into Vader?

Well, I'm rebelling like mutinous sailors, duel of the fates and my union's a sabre

Or you could just say, a truly irrefusable new opportunity came up

I'm on strike, and it might just be a long night

We ain't staying in center parks, so once it's dark, it's on sight

Smoke you like a bong pipe 'till your camp site's a bomb site

I've come to right wrongs for all the times you've wronged rights

Jacksfilms Rap Roast (Rap Roasts #5) lyrics - Dan Bull

Ladies and gentlemen

Give it up for Jack Douglass

What a lovely chap, goodness

Oozes from his pores

Like a cup of that bubble stuff

But the trouble is

It's tough to be too critical

On somebody so unbelievably unpolitical

It's difficult to diss a cool kid

Who still kisses his mom

And gives her calls on mother's day

Because she raised her little son

Into a well mannered

And respectable young gentleman

That represents the pinnacle

Of American parental love

You're so disgustingly pure

You must be finding it hard

To hide all that naughtiness

Behind the facade

Your time us up, brah

'Cause no one is impervious

I peel back your veneer

As if I'm skinning furvius

You're nervous

As I'm digging further deep

Into your conscience

It isn't hard to get inside a head

With such a wide circumference

Hat stuck on your skull

Are you crying or slicing onions?

Companies grease your palms

You try to hide the thumbprints

I didn't want to bring your head into it

It's been done already

But then again so has yiay

More than mom's spaghetti

I thought that KSI had a massive cranium

But yours is the reason we need

A bigger capacity stadium

I'm not even kidding about it

I'm serious mate

You could rent that fricking thing out

As real estate

In fact

I'll use it as a canvas

Now to illustrate

The story of a man

And how his fantasy realm

Would seal his fate

You wanted a roast

Well then that's something

I'm delighted to provide

Oh, Jacksfilms, man, you wanted a roast

I'll fill your cavity

With onion, sage and spice

Nice

You live a fairy tale existence

So no wonder you're called Jack

The hat fits

And that's a rare coincidence

Jack be nimble

Jack be quick

Jack be sinful

Jack be thicc

Jack be trying too hard

To act as if he isn't a nasty prick

Jack O'Lantern

Jack and Jill

Jack of spades

Acting like the master

You're the Jack of all trades

Jack Horner

Jack Sprat?

Nah

Jack's a prat

And that's a fact

I'm chopping down his beanstalk

With mean talking raps

And unlike his films

They are action packed

With an actual narrative intact

Can you imagine that?

The cracks never show

Never expose your stressful life

You're a cross between a livestreamer

And a stepford wife

You could meet a mugger

And then end up best of friends for life

And when he stabs you in the back

You'll help him twist the knife

Who is this guy?

Why's he so fricking wholesome?

I reckon his alibi

Must have a couple of holes in

He must have seen John Cena's good deeds

And stole some

Even his gang sign

Is just sticking up his old thumb

I just thank God

I'm not one of the fam squad

I'm squad fam for life, baby

Look

Check out my bank card

Even in a song like this

I make my lyrics bang hard

Give Toby a call

You're breaking that poor man's heart

And when you make a punchline

Out of saying "Finna woke"

Not all the men and womenfolk

Will get the inner joke

They'll think you're poking fun

At people of colour

Who speak in different tones and dialects

When greeting each other

My brother

You're Drake in blackface

Trouble brewing

Look at me

Spilling the hot stuff

I guess that makes me push your tea

I'm a toy maker

Putting Jack in a box

Yet you're back every Christmas

Like a packet of socks

Every time I watch you

There's this dissonant oddness

It's like if idubbbz

Switched jobs

With Mr Rogers

Act two

I'm just being honest

At you

Yiay's just reading comments

And lately

Since you instigated the adpocalypse

You've been popping clips

In your AD gun and cocking it

I spotted it

By redirecting all resentment at Felix

You were free to fire up

Your ornamental AD Helix

At first I thought my firewall connection

Badly glitched

But after more inspection

Jack

I saw your dastardly tricks

You're conspicuously absent

When catastrophe hits

Don't want to be that guy

But I have to be bich

You jump on every trending topic

Just to buck the trend

Giving rubbish more exposure

But it's OK

'Cause it's just pretend

But if you smear yourself

In doo doo ironically

You'll still be smeared in doo doo

Dude

Do you follow me?

Milking the emoji movie

Like a Sony Stooge

Oh, and Coca-Cola telecommunications?

That was Sony's too

So don't be stupid

Don't be fooled

No

It's all a phony fraud

I should call your folks up on the phone

And then disclose it all

Nobody's so pure

Jack

It's sickening to see

You need to tone it up a bit

I hope you're listening to me

Because if we're all assholes

(We're all just assholes talking to a camera)

Talking to a camera

Then I'm an asshole

Talking to an asshole

Through my camera

Nothing deceives

Like the camera can

So I dig up your hidden meanings

Through anagrams

Jack Douglass

Jugs lack soda

Adpocalypse peps cola day

Pepsi cola

Special op

I lace pops

Yesterday I asked you

Teary eyed

Soda is yuk

John Patrick Douglass

Jack uploading shorts

Josh Spurt

Cola AD king

You've been caught!

Now just to prove the conspiracy

One final anagram

Ornamental AD helix

Alexander Hamilton

Alexander Hamilton

Alexander Hamilton

What do you drink cola from?

Alexander can or tin

Any kind of product, Jack is

Alexander selling them

By spreading ADs virally

Alexander Pathogen

That's right

This gimmick track is

Alexander back again

You'll be confused

If it's something you

Alexander haven't seen

So let me clear up the

Alexander Bafflement

The format of this song's just saying

Alexander random thing

I can do this fast all day

Alexander Ramadan

Mixing letter up 'cause I'm the

Alexander Scrabble Don

You couldn't touch the bull with an

Alexander Cattle prod

I'm elmer and you're bugs

Alexander rabbit run

I've outfoxed you

Call me

Alexander basil brush

To ten farts?

You must be

Alexander Flatulent

You've been a naughty boy

I've got to

Alexander smack your bum

Oh no

He's got the hump

Shit

Alexander camel dung

You can close this window if you've

Alexander had enough

Just hold "Alt" and press the

Alexander tab button

Hey, I don't mean it Jack

Come back, we're

Alexander having fun

But come on, man

I think that's

Alexander battle won

Jacob Rees-Mogg Rap Roast (Rap Roasts #6) lyrics - Dan Bull

My God

Jacob Rees-Mogg

CHECK your priorities

At once

Jacob Rees-Mogg

Your punctuation policies

Are wrong

Jacob Rees-Mogg

No "And"-following comma, please

What

Jacob Rees-Mogg

Is with all these frivolities?

Mr. Rees-Mogg

I understand your concerns

But I cannot tell you that I am pleased to learn

The list of words which you determine unacceptable and worthless

Due to the fact of their being no longer fit for purpose

You'd better check your work

'Cause when I look at Hansard

There are countless examples of you flouting your own standards

You've too many "I"'s yourself

What an ongoing disappointment

And thus calling to question your self appointed a anointment

As the guardian and arbiter of grammatical convention

So see me after class Rees-Mogg

You've got yourself into detention

Whether or not it was your intention

You've brought attention to the boiling tension and contentions we're all fomenting

There's no point in pretending we all can be friends

And it's hard to enforce a convention in language when language is always dissenting

It wasn't always cemented in rules

Semantics

Or how things are meant to be called

The fact that language is bending is cool

Ascending through trends and transcending all the attempts to control and restrain its application's

A source of endless fascination

But actually, Jacob, I've taken a minute just to ascertain

Whether I've considered and have given it enough cogitation

To safely treat this linguistic oversimplification as just a misinterpretation deserving of floccinaucinihilipilification

Or if you're a pillock deserving of all of this vilification

My God

Jacob Rees-Mogg

CHECK your priorities

At once

Jacob Rees-Mogg

Your punctuation policies

Are wrong

Jacob Rees-Mogg

No "And"-following comma, please

What

Jacob Rees-Mogg

Is with all these frivolities?

You're a man that hasn't got a lot of equals

You don't want to be like the comma people

Use religion to excuse your belief

Stating same sex marriages should not be legal

But I've got to give it to you

You're a man of principle

And an imbecile

But honestly

I'm really rather quite surprised to find you don't believe in hanging criminals

You're cut from a cloth of vellum

Despite what everyone says you're not a bellend

You're a little bit privileged

Very old fashioned

But you stick to principles with a passion

But when you're in the chicken coop

You get covered in chicken poo

Why did you give a speech to the Traditional Britain Group

Now you can never say that is something you didn't do

You also sat and planned stuff with Steve Bannon didn't you?

Never change your babbies' nappies

That's what nannies do

Naturally

Anyway you've got an allergy

Ask Ali G

Jacob is the member for the 18th century

If contemporary's an ailment he's the remedy

He doesn't want anything to do with anything that is in living memory

It's not cricket if you've not got a ticket for entry into the Gentry

He isn't so friendly

Nah

That's a fib

He's a man of the people on which we each can depend

Though Jacob

I speculate you won't reply

Though hopefully you do

Jacob I've invested so much of my time in you

And how should I refer to you?

Is it Earl

Lord

Duke

Baron

Earl

Or Sire?

Yours sincerely

Daniel Cheltenham Douglby Digby Bull Esquire

My God

Jacob Rees-Mogg

CHECK your priorities

At once

Jacob Rees-Mogg

Your punctuation policies

Are wrong

Jacob Rees-Mogg

No "And"-following comma, please

What

Jacob Rees-Mogg

Is with all these frivolities?

Just Another Day lyrics - Dan Bull

(Minecraft Fox Song)

Everyone of us here carries a box

Full of our cares and fears, heavy as rocks

Spending nearly every second checking the locks

But then we end up spilling everything the second it drops

We plant our seeds in the soil in the dirt

'Till our hands start bleeding from toil when we work

Wonder why we give up fun, while we boil in the sun

But when all of this is done, then the spoils will be worth it

When are things perfect? Basically never

But tables can turn when your mates come together

So get up and let's celebrate simple pleasures

Treasure the payment of our labours and endeavours

By its very nature nature's a menace

Unstable and playful in the same measure

It'll take what it's given in the space of a second

Fate changes up quicker than a facial expression

Just another day

Just another day

'Till something comes along

And takes it all away

Just another day

Just another day

'Till something comes along

And takes it all away

Straight away, fate can take away the gains you made

Update and change the rules of the favourite games you play

They mean it literally when they say it's make or break

This place'd be way more unstable with no stablemates

Try blaming fate for laying waste to your favourite place

Take it from me, you won't make much of a persuasive case

For every grave there is a cradle that'll take its place

Faded faith and fables traded for the latest craze

To display resilience just may be our main saving grace

To persistently insist upon a safer space

To be able to be patient in the face of pain

That's a waiting game, only the bravest faces may sustain

Failure's waiting to make your acquaintance if you're chasing fame

Life is moving quick, so why assume that it would stay the same?

Seasons keep changing, leave trees' leaves fading

People keep ageing, each beat knees shaking

And just when you believe you're free, you're going to meet with Satan

Freeze in fear, realise you might have been mistaken

This isn't even a deep statement I'm even making

Evil keeps creating meaner ways to feed the hate, and

Just another day

Just another day

'Till something comes along

And takes it all away

Have a little patience, it'll get better

Have a little faith, it'll all come together

Even a diamond will break under pressure

So take a little break, and then make sure you get up

A lot of the time you've got to follow the signs

We live on borrowed time with no promise that tomorrow will arrive

We've lost days hiding from the horrors in the night

We can't see, we're just squandering the light

Then we wonder why we lost our quality of life

When we can't even decide whether we want to live or die

As if it isn't comfortable being confident inside

Such a shame when a diamond doesn't want to even shine

Being hunted for your hide is humbling your pride

We've all been vulnerable, stomach rumbling and tired

Sure, you're not crying, there's just something in your eye

Your cookie's crumbling, there isn't pumpkin in your pie

So come and sit beside, you're invited, there's an empty seat

We're trembling and weak, but your love provides plenty, see?

It's plain to see your empathy for entities in need

Instead of greed you present a generous energy indeed

Have a little patience, it'll get better

Have a little faith, it'll all come together

Even a diamond will break under pressure

So take a little break, and then make sure you get up

Just another day

Just another day

'Till something comes along

And takes it all away

Your brain's aching, you're waking in strange places

But today's too late to change faces

I know it hurts, lying in dirt full of grazes

It drives you berserk, seeing the ways they degrade us

So try to turn the rage into a way to retake

What they've taken away from you

It'll take more than pain just to break us, they'll pay for this

Gracious, you need to be courageous for ages

And step by step the game is afoot

Left, right, left, we're not going to play by the book

With someone craven and crooked, it as they, would they do with us?

I'm doubtful they give a fuck, and this is painful enough

For now we're laying in wait from above, taking a look

Surveying the base where the thugs have taken the pup

The scale's industrial, and it must be all but unbreakable

But you're more than capable when your faith is unshakable

They're digging themselves a hole that they mistake for an escape tunnel

It's time we gave them payback for their hate, it ain't debatable

Whatever they take, we'll make them pay double, trade for all

The pain they've caused, the trail of trauma's multigenerational

We'll study their organisation, and the way that they patrol

Before we tear down their barricades like they were paper walls

Trash their battle station, so it's no longer operational

Today's the day that we reclaim our name and take control

Just another day

Just another day

'Till something comes along

And takes it all away

Have a little patience, it'll get better

Have a little faith, it'll all come together

Even obsidian will break under pressure

So take a little break, and then make sure you get up

Don't ever put me in a box, I'm

So clever, you could call me a Fox

And no cold weather will stop me kicking arse

I'll stick a trident right in your freaking heart

If you try pulling me and my clique apart, I'll lick a shot

So you drop down quicker than a liquor shot

Lickle sharks try and bite, muddle my childlike style

For the mild type quiet barks give a wild bite

Vile tykes try and spoil my limelight

Ignored my advice, bye bye, my guy

I feel my family all around me with a lion's pride

The silent night blanketing us in the sky up high

Ride or die wherever the trail takes us

It's a hell of a tale, we'll tell it through the ages

But has there ever been anything more courageous

Than saying farewell, and then turning the pages?

Just another day

Just another day

'Till something comes along

And takes it all away

Have a little patience, it'll get better

Have a little faith, it'll all come together

Even a diamond will break under pressure

So take a little break, and then make sure you get up

Just another day

Just another day

Just Die Already lyrics - Dan Bull

So I might open with a real light joke, right?

Real life is a real life rougelike

There's no F5 key to rewind what we don't like

So we spend most our time just hoping that we won't die

So when I look around and see someone that's elderly

I tell myself they're either winning life or found a cheat

And yet they're treated as some selfish freaks

Who've failed to leave

Who've somehow outstayed their welcome

With the power to breathe

Well, I've come around to tell them

Though I doubt it's seldom seen

That their very presence is a present I'm proud to receive

This is for the OG's, old geezers, fogeys

Bolted up in the old folks' home with no keys

It must be lonely up atop the holy escalator

But eventually we're each the next to leave so check you later

Being senior seems to me between being tuckered out

And realising there's so much to not give a fuck about

It's been a long time, been a long time, been a long

Lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time

It's been a long time, been a long time, been a long

Lonely, lonely, lonely, such a lonely time

To the church-going folk, I hope you all pray for me

Because I've no hope of growing old gracefully

Life's a fatal disease so I'm just waiting to see

What exciting places it might be taking me

I'm going to be an OAP that's OP

Hope to be as old as Gandalf and Obi-Wan Kenobi

Living is so me, I'm going to get enough

Although I won't reach the one hundred and twenty-seven club

Prejudice putting needless junk between us as the Devil does

The way we treat them is the treatment that's ahead of us

Old people are previously youngsters who just levelled up

Being senior should be seen as something just incredible

It's been a long time, been a long time, been a long

Lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time

It's been a long time, been a long time, been a long

Lonely, lonely, lonely, such a lonely time

It's been a long time, been a long time, been a long

Staying young 'til I become an ancient one's my one desire

Lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time

It's been a long time, been a long time, been a long

If you can't feel the bass

Turn up your hearing aid and pump it higher

Lonely, lonely, lonely, such a lonely time

What you have to do is hang on through until the chumps retire

Then wack them in the trash

But dude, that attitude's a dumpster fire

Passing youth's a fact that you and I will come to cry at

And grapple with the facts that we refused confronting prior

There's an infinite abyss in front of us but I am

Not the really kind of guy to just give and come so quietly

Succumb to higher creature comforts and just lie in piece

'Cause once I die, at least I'd like to be thunk of in high esteem

Nah, never mind, being in the freakin' riot police

I'll speed at an entire fleet while screaming in the driver's seat

'Til I'm a bleeding pile of meat, the kind that lions eat

Now darling, be a sweet and bring my slippers, I've got tired feet

It's been a long time, been a long time, been a long

Lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time

It's been a long time, been a long time, been a long

Lonely, lonely, lonely, such a lonely time

Just because there's nothing left to prove

Doesn't mean there's nothing left to do

But as seasons pass the fee increases for your season pass

'Til you're a seasoned passenger of centuries who sees 'em pass

Put to pasture, don't repeat the past, you need some greener grass

They plan to treat you as a weed in fields that need reseeding fast

I see you creeping of your peak productive beaten path

'Til even keeping up with previous achievements seems to drag

I don't believe that each of us can be surpassing Pete & Bas

I mean it's been an eon since you've even had a decent shag

Another day, they might discover me in glacial ice

Or maybe I'll be vaporised to nada but a ray of light

Descendents won't remember whether I've blue, gray or hazel eyes

But it's irrelevant, man, it's whatever fate decides

So I'll just say this, mate, whatever may arise

I'll stay alive 'til the day I die

It's been a long time, been a long time, been a long

Lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time

It's been a long time, been a long time, been a long

Lonely, lonely, lonely, such a lonely time

It's been a long time, been a long time, been a long

Staying young 'til I become an ancient one's my one desire

Lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time

It's been a long time, been a long time, been a long

If you can't feel the bass

Turn up your hearing aid and pump it higher

Lonely, lonely, lonely, such a lonely time