But I want to thank you for being here
It's been a pleasure
I mean that truly
And now I'm going to do a convoluted tune
A composition that I'm particularly proud of
Never been a fellow to be down with the Gs
Hardly ever collect felonies out on the street
My criminal record took minimal effort
To scribble and get all it down on a sheet
Me, I can do without the police
See, I'm a dude renowned to be tedious
No pissing about, I'm serious
I really just sit around on a seat
Read a book, put it down, have a wee
'til I feel I've had enough then I slouch in my PJs
These days when I'm counting my sheep
It takes me ages drowsing to sleep
Feel I'm thousands of feet out of my league
Like a floundering dinghy down in the deep
People shouting at me I'm not allowed on a beat
But there's four times more that'll tell me I'm sweet
I found my release when I bought me a mic
And recorded a tight lyric down on a beat
With the sound so loud that the speakers
Melt with the heat cos I'm Dan to the B
[Hook:]
One, two, I'm counting to three
Then I want you, to bounce to the beat
From the North to the West to the South to the East
We can all get well rowdy
I oughtn't lie, I mean demographically
There's a hypothesis I support:
That I am the more priviliged in all of society
Quite unlike the baller I try and be
I was born in a nice region
And brought up politely
So I was taught to mind my Ps and Qs
And make way for OAPs in queues
I'm a decent dude, peaceful too
But on a beat I speak with lethal truth
This sequel to my debut album's
A way to tell them the good news:
That I'm a middle class kid from the Midlands
Less "safe" more like "how you diddling?"
I'm like a Polo without the middle in
More whole than the hole to fill it in
Though I'm a bitter kid, just a little bit
Bringing mint lyrics but no-one's listening
But I'm in the zone and I'm coveting the throne
So I'm not gonna give it in, gloves coming off and I'm boxing until I win
Watch when I'm in the ring
Roundhouse my doubts, bopping them in the chin
Plot thickening along with the smoke
But I'm not gonna choke - I've got ventolin
Like when I kicked my bong and it broke
It allowed me the freedom to breathe the air again
And now that I'm clean and the songs that I wrote then
Are out and they're seen I am proud to be me
You could tell when I'd been chilling out with some weed
I couldn't leave the house, you could smell the Febreze
Now when I'm out on an evening in town I'm a demon
Downing indecent amounts of Ribena
'til I'm down on my knees and in pieces
Weeping shouting "help me, please"
But when I'm having doubts about my belief
I just tell myself that I'm proud to be me
[Hook]
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